Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
..and yes, I still have record of seeing the first Ted also:
Seth MacFarlane – Ted (voice and motion capture)
Jessica Barth – Tami-Lynn
Mark Wahlberg – John Bennett
Amanda Seyfried – Samantha L. Jackson
Giovanni Ribisi – Donny
So Ted 2 wasn’t as brilliant as I’d hoped it would be, but it still delivered 114 minutes of sheer escapism. And by escapism I mean watching a stuffed teddy bear strut around the screen yelling expletives and marrying a rather attractive blonde human female. It’s mad – I am fully aware Ted is a toy, yet I still sat watching the movie as though he was any other member of the cast. As the scenes got deeper into the storyline of Ted being classed as ‘property’ not human, and his fight for human rights, the fact this poor chap was a teddy went completely over my head and I still uttered moans of “awwww” as I sympathised with the factory-produced play thing. Yes. Ted 2 was sheer escapism.
The movie follows on from the first, where Ted and Tami-Lynn met and are now getting married. From the openong scene, Ted is cute. Squishy and smiley, the bear walks around with an incredibly chipper disposition. As the movie begins, he performs a dance routine which – although lengtgy – had me smiling from the offset. I knew I’d be in for some cheeky stuff. And I wasn’t wrong. One of the opening scenes sees Ted and his new wife fight in their kitchen; pots and pans are thrown, every other word is a rude one, it’s bloody hilarious. And watching a woman and a teddy bear do this made it even more hilarious.
The movie is made up of these random scenes, throwing as much erratic behaviour at the audience as possible. And to be honest, I lapped up every second. Seth MacFarlane uses ‘that’ humour again as he does in productions such as Family Guy and A Million Ways to Die in The West; very honest and observant humour which can offend some – highly entertain others. I think the key with MacFarlane’s productions is to watch them completely open-minded, because the man touches upon the grittiest of subjects – one in Ted 2 being this year’s tragic issue of Charlie Hebdo. The way Ted mentions the company’s name during a comedic situation was so raw it was hilarious. I’m not going to lie – I laughed. Tragedy or no tragedy, it was funny. So if you’re a viewer who easily takes offence at such topics – this movie is not for you.
What I enjoyed most about Ted 2 is its ability to make me sit grinning yet frowning with confusion at the same time. Yes, MacFarlane gets the most mixed facial expressions from me. One scene in particular had me hooting with laughter; when Ted is at work, sat behind his little cash register when a box of cereal is slammed down on the conveyer belt in front of him. The camera focuses for a moment on the strong pair of hands holding the box, and Ted’s open-mouthed expression as he faces the man..
Major Hollywood name here as the camera then shows the man’s face. It’s an actor most of us are familiar with (and probably one of MacFarlane’s favourites). The look of utter confusion and anguish on the man’s face as he enquires about the breakfast cereal is fucking funny; creating a situation that just shouldn’t be as deep as it is, but is still funny due to the script. The man asks Ted if Trix is purely for kids because he wants to consume it himself, and is concerned he’ll be classed as some sort of weirdo. Ted assures the man it should be fine and that it is not in his store’s budget to have anyone follow him when he leaves the store. The movie then continues. I always enjoy really random moments in movies, and this was one of them – stupidly funny.
Seth MacFarlane makes a point during Ted 2 of mocking as many people and events as he possibly can, without slowing the story down. If you’re familiar with his previous work, you can expect much of the same sarcastic and brutally honest humour he has used before. The audience were really enjoying this movie; a couple sat in front of me seemed to be giggling all the way through, various other viewers around the auditorium were laughing out loud more at the risqué jokes and one-liner’s. That said, there was something wrong about Ted 2..
In a word – plot. The overall story of Ted 2 was extremely loose, to the point of being almost non-existant. Ted gets married – and then the rest of the story is about his fighting for citizenship. But the way this plays out is slightly disjointed, and important characters seem to get left behind instead of getting full exposure. For example, when Ted’s adversary Donny appears, there is a strange scene between him and the director of Hasbro (the toy manufacturer who created Ted) for a few minutes – which suddenly ends and then the film moves on. Donny appears again towards the end of the movie, but again he gets hardly any time to make an impact before exiting again. The plot centered around this character – the main enemy – held no consistency, had no impact and seemed to fade out quickly. And the fact it involved someone like the director of Hasbro made it feel like it flopped that little bit more. We already had Ted, his wife and John – and enough of an engaging story to keep us going, bringing back Donny just wasn’t needed and was about as effective as your nextdoor neighbour popping over to hand you wrongly delivered mail and leaving again. Not good.
Although Ted 2 had me laughing out loud with some racy comedy, there was something missing. This wasn’t as good as the first movie, it felt empty somehow. Should they have stuck with just the one movie?..
Amanda Seyfried proves she’s more than just straight hair and romance in Ted 2, as the actress loosens her blouse buttons and becomes a pot-smoking, scatty lawyer. I actually found it quite refreshing to see her bouncing off Mark Wahlberg during comic scenes, especially when delivering funny lines. Amanda might not be an award-winning comedian, but the girl can certainly bring the funny when needed. Good show.
During a scene where Ted, John and Samantha are sat in a service station having dinner, a waitress approaches their table and serves an order. As she walks away, Ted remarks that she was giving John ‘Fuck Me eyes‘. Samantha asks if she has ‘Fuck Me eyes’ – to which Ted responds, “no. You have more ‘give me the ring my precious’ eyes”. I howled with laughter. The actress was clearly being mocked as herself due to her own appearance, yet she didn’t give a shit and allowed it in the filming. Bang – right there. An actor who holds the classic quality of laughing at themselves, brilliant. Amanda showed she’s a good sport throughout Ted 2, being taken the piss out of because of her big (ish) eyes. I’ve not actually noticed the size of the actresse’s eyes before, but I can see what Seth means.
And that was Ted 2. Not as good as Ted, but still funny due to a certain man and his risqué adult humour. I was sorely disappointed with the plot holes, how it kept fading in and out and followed no proper direction. However, if it’s 114 minutes of laughter and mockery you want – here it is. Seth MacFarlane delivers what he delivers best – slating topical issues and throwing random, stupid and often bizarre humour at his audience. But it works every time. Love or hate him, Seth is vastly experienced at every angle of comedy and understands what viewers need these days; escapism. He breaks through boundaries others wouldn’t dare and you have to respect his bravery for this.
Ted 2 is worth a watch if you fancy a giggle. Just don’t expect to be blown away by a substantial plot. Do however, expect plenty of ‘pause – then laugh’ moments. Some of the dialogue is very funny stuff. Ted to Morgan Freeman’s character for example:
“I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice”. I howled. I howl a lot if you haven’t realised. My god, you should hear me in bed – it’s like a scene from fucking Jumanji.