Dakota Johnson – Alice
Nicholas Braun – Josh
Rebel Wilson – Robin
Anders Holm – Tom
Alison Brie – Lucy
Leslie Mann – Meg
..release a movie like this one.
How to Be Single has to be by far, one of the most ill-produced comedies I’ve seen in years. I say comedy – I mean the complete opposite. As I sat watching four forgettable women go about their daily lives on screen, the feeling I had was literally – pain. This movie was as tedious as they come; predictable and dry all the way through, it painted a horrible message about single women who live in the city. It basically showed singletons as needing to stay as independant as they are – but to go out and throw themselves at as many men as possible whilst doing so. So basically, being single means girls can go out partying until the early hours and take random men home to sleep with. Just for fun. Wilson leads the way as Robin, a twenty-something party girl with a huge appetite for booze and drugs who befriends Alice (Johnson), and introduces her to a whole new social life. Whilst the slapstick flows, something about the pair just doesn’t gel.
Wilson is larger than life (as always) and delivers some very funny one-liner’s and facial expressions. Johnson is petite and mousey and delivers moments which – performed by any other Hollywood actor – would be comedic, but simply brought silence to the auditorium as she spoke and acted like a (very bad at drama class) school child. Together they make an unlikely pair and if the two of them were a train track then there’s definitely a tree on the line, shattering the comedy chemistry link.
Whilst I’m on the subject of comedy, I will state a simple fact:
Dakota Johnson is not funny.
She cannot even act funny, it was actually quite cringeworthy to watch this movie on Friday night due to the woman’s failed attempt at being hilarious. Johnson just can’t cut it; serious and more dramatic features are her style I reckon – being cast in movies where she doesn’t have to dazzle with personality. Most actors are versatile and able to display a range of dynamics like comedy, sadness, rage, despair, excitement, etc. Unfortunately in Johnson’s case such talent is restricted and she ends up more backing cast than main star. Even when stuck in a bright crazy outfit or dressed up and covered in makeup, she remains plain as a bag of Ready Salted Walkers. Christ only knows how she made it in to Hollywood. I just hope some director out there doesn’t cast her in The Vagina Monologues, think it’s an apt casting (a-hem, Fifty Shades), and expects her to evoke laughter from the audience.
On the plus side, she’s a performer. And this movie needed a performer to fill a spot. And she did that.
How to Be Single is another of those god-awful flops which is fit to join the ranks of other god-awful Hollywood creations. I’ve seen some tripe in my time (believe me), and this was a perfect addition. It reminded me of those types of movies which have a bare structure but absolutely no substance contained within it; movies such as
This Is 40.
Friends With Kids.
Thanks For Sharing.
What To Expect When You’re Expecting.
Total gems in the world of shit film, displaying nothing but unfeeling personal situations and badly written jokes that bring cringes, or utter silence. And here we have another to join the ranks! Bursting at the seams with absolutely nothing, How to Be Single is as disappointing as an under-filled latte you get served in Starbucks. Only I wish I could have taken it back to the producers and ask them to top it up a bit more with the good stuff.
It’s lightly filmed, I.E. the cameras shift from leafy street to inside of an empty cafe – the locations are far from interesting.
It’s not very well casted, I.E. various supporting characters are introduced and then piss off again within seconds.
It lacks character development (showing Robin continuously getting fucked up on booze, Alice non-stop moaning, whilst desperate and insecure about being single, and Lucy as the one who coasts through life by trying to be hilarious as though humour is her defence mechanism – but comes across as irritating with her reckless behaviour.
Meg is the only female to actually evolve fully by shying away from parenthood, but eventually realising it’s what she’s wanted all along. And it’s nice to watch.
Above all though, How to Be Single is witty but it is not funny enough. One or two situations made me laugh out loud due to being performed by Rebel Wilson. She was the only person in the movie to make me genuinely laugh, and that’s because she always makes me laugh.
What I find distasteful is the message it actually does portray to single people. This movie does nothing to make singletons feel better, and is an insult to the overall subject.
And that’s that.
Not enough reasons to warrant watching this movie.