Blackhat
A furloughed convict and his American and Chinese partners hunt a high-level cybercrime network from Chicago to Los Angeles to Hong Kong to Jakarta.
Cast
Chris Hemsworth – Nick Hathaway
Tang Wei – Chen Lien
Viola Davis – FBI Agent Carol Barrett
Ritchie Coster – Kassar
Holt McCallany – FBI Agent Jessup
Mime Out Of Time
During this movie there are a few particular foreign characters who don’t just mime to a script that is in English – they mime out of time. Seriously, the men’s lips are so out of synch they make a Kinder Surprise advert look like the actors are speaking English (because some of those adverts are horrific). The first time these men have a speaking scene, they are sat around a table having – what looks like – an important conference. I very nearly laughed out loud at their miming – it looked as though the actors were speaking in their native language – having it dubbed – yet on delayed play, so that the men are waffling on whilst the dub is trying to catch up with them. It came across as cheap, awful.
The men appeared again later on, still unable to bring their lips to speak their own language, resulting in bad miming. It actually frustrated me in a way, because any sort of tacky disposition like this in a movie takes away the effectiveness of it I find. The movie tries to deliver good action by throwing the lead male and his female sidekick at the audience – and even adding a soft core sex scene, but it dives massively. There’s Chris Hemsworth giving it (and her) his all – followed by a scene which removes most of the atmosphere and brings the action crashing down.
Shocking Sidekick
Nick (Hemsworth) is accompanied on his mission by Chen (Wei) – who has to be one of the most irritating ‘sidekicks’ I have ever seen in a movie. The woman is supposed to be at Nick’s aid but spends most of her time standing behind him, staring at computer monitors. Oh – and she beds him too. Which let’s face it, is the rule in these movies isn’t it; big macho man on a mission – mousy Asian assistant he wouldn’t look twice at normally – first compulsory duty?..
FUCK IT!
Yes, Blackhat was certainly living up to the cliché crap this genre of film delivers. Nick and Chen end up porking each other – just because they can. But Chen was just awful. Without sounding ‘deafist’ here, she speaks like a deaf person does; that classic wide mouth trying to chow round words, her voice coming out as though she’s trying to speak through a mouth full of custard. The actress was quite literally, an embarrassment. And highly untalented. I didn’t know what was going on here, the movie was laughable. And not a good laughable.
(I would like to add that I mean absolutely no offence to deaf people. But it’s the only way I could describe the way she speaks).
Shock Exit
I very rarely walk out of a movie, as I feel it my duty to stay and absorb the feature so that I can write a full review (fear not, I stayed until the end of the last 30-40 movies I’ve written about).
Apart from this one.
From what I remember, there was a scene where Nick and Chen sit at a table in a restaurant – he sneaks into the back and finds a camera filming their movements, grabs her to leave, but a brawl breaks out in which Nick ‘bottles’ the men involved in the fight. The pair then leave, and Chen gives Nick car keys. Now I think this is what happened – I’m not sure because I was falling asleep. And I’m not exaggerating, I was literally glazing over as though I was about to nod off..
I’d had enough. I grabbed my things and swiftly exited the auditorium. Upon bursting through the doors, I breathed deeply and sighed. And let out an expletive. Then headed home.
Blackhat is horrific. Uneventful, boring, tedious, poorly acted. I’m honestly not surprised the cinemas I’ve been to haven’t played the trailer (if there is one). This is one movie that is an insult to Hollywood. The confusing question on my lips though is how they got Chris Hemsworth to take part. Considering the man has shot to success in movies such as Thor, Rush, and Marvel’s Avengers Assembled, this one was a disappointing step down the ladder for him. More than a step actually – he fell through the fucking rungs.
Blackhat is poorly directed, with fighting and explosions thrown in with the hopes of entertaining the audience. In a way, it is forced. Forced entertainment that takes up the screen with an air of irrelevance. I’m sure there are many more features out there that deserve their screen time, and this is certainly not one of them. An insult to cinema, Blackhat should have been left on the cutting room floor and given way for something much more entertaining to take the screen. That was low, even for Chris Hemsworth.
Absolutely apalling.
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