The Other Woman

 

Carly is happily in love with her boyfriend Mark. He has it all:

Looks, body, swish apartment, career..

..wife,

girlfriend,

another girlfriend,

mistress…

Until now, Mark played his life like a boardgame.
But he messed with the wrong girl – because Carly has discovered his secrets. And she’s about to team up with the other played pieces, and bring his game to an explosive, vengeful end…

 

 

 

 Cast

Cameron Diaz – Carly Whitten

Leslie Mann – Kate King

Kate Upton – Amber

Nicki Minaj – Lydia

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau – Mark King

Taylor Kinney – Phil

 

 

Watchable

Ok, my first point: this movie is extremely watchable. As in The Proposal watchable. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days watchable. The First Wives Club watchable.
In a nutshell, it is two blondes and a redhead running around trying to get revenge on the man who has cuckholded them all at once. The movie shifts from Carly’s apartment to Kate’s grand suburban house throughout, with a bonus trip to the Bahamas.

I sat watching The Other Woman with an air of ease about me; I wasn’t bowled over and delighted by hilarity, neither was I bored. I just kicked back and let the movie wash over me nicely. That said, I LOL’d three or four times during the movie due to some brilliant dialogue and delivery – mainly performed by Leslie. A versatile actress, she is capable of crying her eyes out distraught one minute, delivering hilarious one-liner’s and facial expressions the next. The funniest of the three, she helps carry the movie along with good speed.

 

 

Oblivious

What I didn’t like about the story was how oblivious Kate was to the situation of her husband cheating on her. I get it – Kate as a character is dappy and naive. But what I didn’t get was how quick she was to shrug the situation off and start faffing around with her dog, getting drunk, play-fighting, dressing up..

Once the bombshell is dropped, she is naturally upset – but then seems to glide off in the direction of the nearest wardrobe so that she can dress up nice then start decorating her study? Whilst I appreciate shock can effect people in different ways, it all seemed a little stupid; how oblivious she was to the seriousness of her situation. There were upsides to her silliness however..

One scene which genuinely made me “WHOA” out loud was when she and Carly sit in a bar together shortly after the revelation is made; from out of nowhere Kate gurgles then vomits down her chin. It was such a surprise, it shocked me a little – so top marks for that little gem. Proper bilious billiards there. And what I mainly noticed was how similar some of her characteristics were to Big Brother UK‘s Nikki Grahame.
One scene sees Kate turn up on Carly’s doorstep with dinner – and she suddenly erupts in a fit of emotions. Hilarious wide-mouthed, wide-eyed facial expressions and moany voice had me thinking back to Nikki Grahame immediately. This made me smile.
And from one Nikki to another…

 

 

 

Nicki Minaj

Suffice to say, I was surprised when I first saw the trailer for The Other Woman – because Nicki Minaj was part of the cast.
How random!

..turns out she was actually pretty good.

Nicki plays Lydia – Carly’s vivacious work colleague who seems to have an incredibly laid-back attitude to the scenario unfolding in Carly’s life. She appears only a few times, but pulls it off nicely; the chick can act as well as sing – ok, she doesn’t have to perform Shakespeare, but Nicki plays her part effortlessly and actually adds a dash of colour to the cast.

..although that voice – fuck me, its like she swallowed Verne Troyer or something.
Overall, a good performance from her.

 

 

Relatable

Two bits stand out for me as being familiar.
At one point, Kate stands in her kitchen discussing ‘Brain Camp’ with Mark. As she spouts off about the retreat you go to, she mentions drinking Ginko Biloba constantly; my ears pricked up at this. Being a fond intaker of the leafy pill myself, I could relate.

Another scene sees Kate in a restaurant with Mark, about to have dinner. Carly phones her and accuses her of having sex with him – to which Kate responds, “oh my GOD, are you kidding me?! It’s barely dark outside!”
Good girl – no sex during light hours.
Call me old fashioned, but there’s something tacky about taking part in ‘horizontal folk dancing’ during the day – you know – when its daylight and everyone else are busy rushing around outisde, etc.
Evening time – when the world is calming down, night has fallen – that’s when you wanna fuck!
Morning sex too – it just doesn’t feel right.
The mood needs to be dark, sensual, sexy…

 

 

 

 

Toilet Humour

One of Kate’s revenge tactics is slipping a heavy laxative into his morning smoothies. And the results are explosive..

One scene sees the bastard hurtling towards the toilet whilst on a date with Carly (yes – the girls allow each other to still see him) – the second he’s on the toilet there are a hell of a lot of ‘SPAT & SLAP’ sound effects as Mark’s face turns crimson in pain.
Dumb and Dumber – that was my first thought. Since the movie classic back in 1994 I always wondered if we’d see another toilet eruption to rival that of Harry’s. And we kind of did.. but his will always be the best I reckon.

 

 

Irrelevance

I cringed at one point; Kate and Carly decide to go on the prowl to find out who  else Mark is porking.
Carly is absolutely fine as normal, but we suddenly see Kate dressed all in black (leather pants, zip-up top & long boots) like some bizarre secret agent – whilst the Mission Impossible theme tune plays. To add to the randomness, she is then seen clinging to a bright white gate (spying on Mark) – black on white: obvious, no?
The whole concept totally baffled me, and just wasn’t needed.

And another scene: Amber takes Mark to a local bar, and whilst they’re sitting at a table enjoying drinks, she suddenly stands up and introduces him to ‘a friend’- which turns out to be an obvious, fully-bearded man in a blonde wig and womens clothing. It was quite literally less than 5 seconds in length, and added absolutely no relevance to the plot at all.
Weird.

 

 

 

A Message

Although silly and a little dark, The Other Woman had something to say.
I noticed this during the scene where Kate visits Carly in her apartment and the pair end up roaring drunk. Watching the two of them rolling around in hysterics was kind of sad – the fact they’d both been shat on, but found solace within each other.

The other message: it CAN happen.
Men CAN cheat on their partners be it life-long wife, or just a girlfriend.
Fret not ladies, I’m not saying all of you should check your other half’s mobile phone bill – but you find that even the most devoted of gentleman will get it somewhere else if his partner doesn’t give him enough ‘loving’.

This movie highligts how hormy men can be, and of course – the consequences of pissing a woman off.
After all, Hell hath no fury…

    

 

Premature Ejaculation

..ha! Don’t fret – this isn’t in the movie, I just thought it humorous to use such a title. Basically, the plot itself is incredibly premature.
No sooner has Carly turned up at Mark’s house and discovered he has a wife, she’s straight back in her office smashing things up and plotting revenge.
The story is unfolded immediately with no build-up or suspense – no breather before the women get into the action; it all just kind of – happens immediately.

You know those sort of movies where the plot is delivered straight away, with no build up?
Welcome to The Other Woman.

 

 

Selfie

Loved this bit. Scene where the women peg it over to the Bahamas.
Random of me to point out, but as they sit around a bar with cocktails, Amber raises her mobile phone and snaps a few shots. The actress (Upton) absolutely nails it; the classic ‘girl trying her best to look wonderful on camera’.

We’ve all seen it, haven’t we (or most of us) – a young female cringeworthingly taking a photo of herself: that classic pout or mouth hanging open facial expression frozen in place as she presses the button, hoping with silent desperationthat the photo of her comes out great.

I hate seeing this; it makes me cringe. A female appearing so incredibly vain. I won’t lie – I’ve used the ‘frozen expression’ myself but only with a wide, toothy grin. If I ever used a pout or “I’m sexy” in ‘frozen expression’ it was in jest – jokingly. Otherwise, the act gets on my TITS.

Glad I could clear that up.

   

 

 

 

Overall, The Other Woman is incredibly watchable. It is nowhere near brilliant, but it does deliver a few good gags whilst radiating the message of adultery.
Don’t expect to be blown away and you should enjoy it.
Oh, and if you’ve been cheated on at some stage in your life – DON’T get any ideas. Be nice now, girls.

..OK, carry out the laxative prank – but that’s it. That would be fucking hilarious.

 

6/10

 

“I said get your ducks straight, not put them in a wood-chipper”
(Carly)