Frozen

Elsa has special powers. She can turn anything to ice just by touching it, and create icicle forcefields to protect herself. But keeping such a superpower secret is going to be difficult..

Because one day, Elsa’s power escalates in front of the entire village. The gloves come off, and the icebergs begin to form. Distraught at the kingdom’s reaction, Elsa flees the village and is never seen again.

..until the day her sister Anna decides to set out on a road-trip of frosty proportions. In aim of getting Elsa back and retuning the kingdom to normal, Anna braves the sibling-created cold to undertake the journey of a lifetime.

Scarves and gloves on everybody, and get ready for a bumpy sleigh-ride!…

 

 

What a load of shit! Honestly. This has to be one of the most tame, mediocre Disney films I have ever sat through. But as always, I give a fair review – the good and the bad. So let’s get started.

 

 

Cast

Kristen Bell – Anna

Idina Menzel – Elsa

Jonathan Groff – Kristoff

Josh Gad – Olaf

Santino Fontana – Hans

Alan Tudyk – Duke

Chris Williams – Oaken

Stephen J. Anderson – Kai

 

 

Primary Colours

My first observation of Frozen are the colours and graphics used throughout. The movie is swimming in gorgeous deep purples, blues, pinks and greens – and this is just the beginning of the movie. At one point, we watch a handful of characters wander toward the Northern Lights and its rather spectacular.

Towering glossy icicles, deep snow, a mystical kingdom, and bubbling sugar shacks – they are all complimented by the production effort. If you’re a fan of the bright and colourful, you might enjoy this movie. Sit back and let the smooth graphics and beautiful colours wash over you.

 

 

Not All That

Yes as much as I hate using this ‘down with the kids’ lingo, Frozen seriously isn’t all that. In fact, its definitely the most tame Disney feature I’ve ever seen. Yes, its bright and colourful and contains your classic protagonist characters, but when you actually watch it – there’s just nothing to it!

A ‘cold-hearted’ girl suffers from an ice fever which freezes items she touches. She feels so isolated from everyone else, that she runs away.

Thats it.

That’s your lot.

The movie is quite literally: Girl runs away. Sister chases after. Finds her. Brief ‘but I will never be normal’ speech. They return home. There is of course the classic Disney ‘baddie’ – but he is a different story..

 

One In, One Out

The movie of course features your classic Disney ‘baddie’ – Prince Hans. A hunky, smooth gentleman who Anna falls for at the beginning. But who then doesn’t actually have much to do with the process until the very end.

It is literally a ‘one in, one out’ situation with some characters – Hans being the main victim. Because no sooner have he and Anna formed a quick romance, than she is out on her adventure and he disappears.. he then reappears upon her return and drops the bombshell of his intentions, to marry into her family and take control of the throne. And that’s it.

A very brief cameo role for the main bad guy here, which surprised me slightly because in Disney flicks, we usually get a nice slice of action from the main meanie and know what he is up to throughout – not this one I’m afraid; he fucks off and then reappears – makes his intentions known – and is then defeated.

 

 

Snow Joke

Without the addition of Olaf, Frozen would have been a total flop. This (ironically) warm-hearted snowman was an absolute gem, and not your average Disney comedian. He is a snowman who was built by Elsa and Anna when they were little nippers – who Elsa unknowingly brings back, and brings to life as she creates her ice palace.

He’s a bloody funny little thing. Famed for having a loose nose (which has to be popped back into his face once it is dislodged) he is Anna’s eyes and ears as he leads her – along with mountain man Kristoff and his reindeer Sven – to Elsa’s palace.

He is like the jam between the sandwich – he is a much needed comic relief whose adorable wit and spontaneity sticks the movie together and keeps the fluidity in strong force. Thank God for this character. I think it was only Olaf who genuinely entertained me throughout.

 

What’s In A Name?

..a bloody load of foreigners that’s what! This Disney film is rather cultured; Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, Sven, Olaf, Pabbie, Bulda.. the characters all have rather foreign names (and I’m talking foreign as in not of English or American heritage)

I wonder if producer Peter Del Vecho (oh, look – foreign again) based the whole premise on his own roots / experiences. Either way, this touch of ‘overseas’ actually gave it an element of diversity. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Disney movie which is centred around foreign people complimented by a foreign setting.

But hey, we can’t make do with squeaky American teenagers can we. The foreign element was quite a nice touch.

 

Take The Kids

Whilst being sat amongst a sea of tiny heads and dummy-suckers, I noted that 90% of the child audience were loving Frozen. The little ones embraced it with great affection (especially Olaf) and their laugh-out-loud and scream-out-loud reactions mirrored that of a Pantomime.

The remaining 10% were mainly climbing over the back of their seat, or wandering around wondering how ‘mummy and daddy’s TV’ got so big.

So I will urge any parent or bigger relative to take the children to see this. If anything, the amazing bright colours and silly snowman will keep them on their toes.

 

Sing-A-Long-A-Snowflake

This movie is also a musical. From time to time, a character will erupt in a (snow) flurry of song. As cheesy as it is, the musical aspect carries the feature forward nicely. But if you’re not particularly a fan of ‘sudden singing’, it may get on your tits.

 

Overall, Frozen is a unique Disney movie with some great attributes – however, its uneventful and almost empty story didn’t quite cut it for me. I couldn’t watch it again. But for the kids, you’re onto a winner – Frozen will capture the hearts of 3 to 8 year olds around the world.

 

 

3/10