Ricky's Film Reviews

Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases

The Haunting In Connecticut 2: Ghosts Of Georgia

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The Wyrick family move into a historic home in Georgia, only to learn they are not the house’s only inhabitants. Little Heidi beings to develop her ability to see ghosts – an ability inherited from her mother’s side – and suddenly, the reason why their new home was sold so cheap is revealed. 

A terrible secret is uncovered, and the family’s time is running out – because as shit goes down, something is coming up – from beneath their house…

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Just awful. And I can honestly say that this is THE WORST horror movie I have ever sat through – and I really mean that. I have had to endure some crap in the past, but this was just plain dire.

This movie is the classic case ‘based on true events, so need to stick to what actually happened, do not add any other story to it’ situation. Therefore, giving us something which wasn’t worth making a movie out of in the first place. In all honesty, they should have produced this as a documentary-style stint; you know – that ‘victim captures it all on videocamera’ scenario. Making an actual movie of this was just insulting to the real family as well as the actors who had to take part in the tedious feature.

Cast

I must say, little Emily Alyn Lind who played Heidi was brilliant. Slightly irritating to begin with, but in the end I think it was her who brought us the best performance. You can’t fault her acting skill; she portrayed a freaked out, upset little girl superbly.

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Abigail Spencer as the mother seemed to fly straight over my head. Quite honestly, she was bland and appeared as though she couldn’t be bothered to be there, filming. Often in movies, we get a woman who is striking in appearance (be it sexy or completely normal) and who delivers amazing dynamics – incredible acting, with elements thrown in which prove how multi-talented she is.

This woman displayed absolutely none of this.

Bland in appearance as well as talent, I can only assume she became a celebrity actor through shagging a mainstream Hollywood director.

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I can see it now:

DIRECTOR: “..you are amazing at horizontal folk dancing. So how about using your acting talents to make me cum, too?”

A MOVIE IS PRODUCED.

“..nope. Nothin’. I’m dry as a bone down there – without a boner. That was a complete misfire. But too late, the movie’s in cinemas. Shit.”

Yo-Yo Boy

Chad Michael Murray, the ‘yo-yo of Hollywood’ stars as Andy Wyrick, father of Heidi. And he’s okay. Slightly pouty, gets his shirt off at one point, mainly there for the sex appeal amongst the horror. What more can you possibly expect from Chad? He’s like a diluted Channing Tatum really, isn’t he. Always plays the same role; beautiful father – who although pumped up and incredibly spunky, only has the one child (whereas you’d think his wife would be physically attached to his penis) – and “doesn’t have a college degree, but worked in a timber yard which proved to be the University Of Life for me” bullshit.

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Yes, the ‘are you coming or going?’ of Hollywood is back for this movie. Avec pout. And that is probably it for him – he’ll be back for another film in 4 or 5 years time.

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Give Up The Ghost

If what you’re expecting from The Haunting In Connecticut 2 is a terrifying thriller full of jumpy moments, then give up the ghost. Although the movie kicks off rather quickly, the ghostly happenings and frights are worse than tame. I think I’ve jumped more at mail coming through my letterbox.

The spirits appear as slaves from the Underground Railroad who were once sheltered in a shack in the forest next to the Wyrick’s house. Two of which happen to be a lady dressed as a maid, and her husband; who offer terrifying moments of.. just standing there. Then of course, there’s Mr Gordy – a smartly dressed old man in a hat who befriends Heidi and appears at random intervals to again – stand there.

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It is only toward the end of the movie we get a more malevolent baddie; namely ‘The Station Master’ – a taxidermist who lived on the grounds the Wyrick’s moved on to. A man who didn’t just run the place, but had other agendas in store.

Family Ties Must’ve Come Loose

What seemed the most ridiculous element of the movie, was when Heidi saw ghosts that her mother could not. The premise is Lisa and her sister Joyce have the ability to communicate with the deceased (see ghosts basically) and that Heidi is next up to inherit the gift.

So why could none of them ever see or even feel what Heidi did? Instead we get a mother who desperately pleads with her daughter to ‘let it go. Don’t go there’ – and an aunt who goes off on her own tangent whilst staying with them. The scenes shift from Heidi running around the garden chasing after ghosts, to Lisa and Joyce sitting on the porch looking out into an empty, silent garden – seeing and feeling nothing. At the beginning of the movie, Lisa was rolling around screaming at visions of ghostly people – now however, it appears the spirits have rota shifts to spook certain family members.

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One scene made me cry out in sheer confusion; a part where the father Andy (who seems to be oblivious to the entire scenario unfolding around him anyway) pisses off into the house during an epic spooking – and vanishes. Heidi has been kidnapped by The Station Master and her mother ventures down underground to get her.

..where’s dad? No idea. During the whole horrific panic-fuelled situation, Andy has pissed off for a cigarette break – and isn’t seen again until Heidi and Lisa’s ordeal is over. He is about as useful as an arse-hole in the middle of your elbow, seriously.

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The whole thing was just bloody ridiculous. I wasn’t desperate to get out of the cinema – but I was extremely tedious of the whole thing. I just kept staring at the screen thinking, “this would make a brilliant Scary Movie 6”

I wouldn’t sit my worst enemy in front of this.

Avoid at all costs. 

0/10

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This entry was posted on November 4, 2013 by .
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