Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Daisy (Saoirse Ronan) is a young American girl, brimming with attitude and strong will. She is sent from New York city to the English countryside, to stay with her cousins. And as she arrives, political outrages are happening worldwide. Reluctant at first to bond with her cousins, Daisy takes a back seat and shuts herself off from them – until the day she joins them on a trip into the local woodlands. But what begins as simple chat around a campfire, ends in a sinister rainfall of ash..
..a nuclear bomb has been detonated in London, destroying the City and killing thousands. But this is just the beginning. Because World War Three is about to take place…
Right. That was bloody AWFUL. I don’t know what is going on with this week’s releases – perhaps they decided to pipe the shite before the good stuff? But as always I shall bring a fair and honest review. So here goes:
The first thing you notice about Daisy is her attitude. She is moody, reluctant to socialise with her cousins, and remains closed off to everyone. But in all honesty, I kept asking myself “why the fuck is she even there if she doesn’t want to be?!” – instead of hanging around like an unwanted guest at a party, why not just bugger off and book into the nearest Premier Inn? Daisy’s character is of strong will – but she’s been sent to England against it! This confusing element got on my tits. Don’t like it? Hit the road sweetlips.
The cast was OK, albeit like being an episode of The Famous Five. Three boys, a young girl and an older girl – each with their own personalities, but honestly none of them really shone through apart from the younger girl; very good little actress and remained adorable throughout. Being so young, her ability to keep the audience entertained never faltered. As for the rest of them, I’ve seen more excitement in a box of Tampons.
Yes – uneventful apocalypse. An extremely contradicting sentence, but that is exactly what we got. So World War Three kicked off, did it? Because we never actually saw anything – shortly after the ‘ash rain’, a few blokes in helmets arrive at the kids’ house, the females are sent to work (mainly sifting through mouldy food), the males sent in the opposite direction.. and then halfway through the film, we get two northern men trying to jump the girls in a forest. I really don’t know what sort of ‘apocalyptic’ scenario the director was trying to portray, but it was nothing short of boring. I don’t know if the actual book describes the ‘end of the world’ events which take place, but if the director’s idea was to “don’t show too much apocalypse, let the audience create it in their own minds”, then he failed.
Apologies people, but I’m honestly struggling to find good things to say about this movie. I mean, it really was beyond dull. And in actual fact, they could have saved precious millions by not making this movie, and condensing it into a 45-minute television ‘one-off’ you get on a Sunday evening on BBC1. Yes, the overall story is easy to follow – but otherwise you sit through an hour and a bit of 2 girls running through woodland, whilst moaning about how their feet hurt.
..yes, there is a positive note. Fans of the book may just love this movie, because although dull, it captures what (I thought) the author was trying to put across in the book. The overall relationships between characters, and how they deal with the impending “apocalypse” are clearly displayed, and the whole ‘have to find them’ premise is very strong.
I’m very concerned that every film featuring Saoirse Ronan is as dull as a queue at the post office. She is a good little actress, but every single bloody film gives us the same character: wide-eyed stare, hardly ever smiles, ‘seems to be constantly pondering something in the back of her mind’ expressions. I’ve never once seen a movie starring this actress where she passes for wacky – or jolly – or extrovert – or effervescent – or geeky – or… I could go on. But I think you get my point. Saoirse honey, for the love of God give us something different. Please. You’re so bland, you make the Mona Lisa look like a portrait of Britney Spears mid-dance.