Jesse Eisenburg – Columbus
Emma Stone – Wichita
Woody Harrelson – Tallahassee
Abigail Breslin – Little Rock
Rosario Dawson – Nevada
Zoe Deutch – Madison
It is strikingly obvious to tell from this movie’s trailer that it isn’t a patch on the first one. With rock / metal music pumping alongside some tacky scenario examples and its title blazing in neon orange at the end, this feels like something thrown together half-heartedly because the original actors happened to have a week or two spare and nothing much in their diaries. The trailer actually says it all: Zombieland: Double Tap is fucking shocking from beginning to end.
What starts out as a recap of the first movie and an explanation of subsequent events, quickly becomes the story of a determined runaway and her family heading off on a road trip to find her. Even the slightest touch of emotion is immediately extinguished by the two lead males as they perform one stupid stunt after another (it appears taking down the occasional group of zombies requires domestic banter and sloppy improvisation). Enter a beautiful but ditzy female (thinks someone turns instantly tiny because she looks through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars) and the deal is done – this movie is pathetic.
Some sequels bring back the original characters but let the entertainment slip by bringing in additional people and placing them in mundane situations. This is exactly what Zombieland: Double Tap does. And its biggest flaw has to be the sanctuary that is discovered; a huge tower filled with lots of forgettable characters who all resemble hippy university students. The juicy action you want disappears as the screen is filled with mellow people sitting on rugs, playing guitars, tending to mini gardens, etc.
Dire.
I don’t want to sit down to watch a zombie movie and have to endure the story of a young woman on a road trip with her hippy boyfriend who is against guns. Or have to watch a bunch of complete randoms (who looked like camera crew had been pulled in at last minute) try and drag a scene along. This meant lack of zombies, no gun action, and idle chat in the front seats of his car. I believe the phrase is, “BORING AF”.
Did you enjoy Zombieland (2009)? If so, I would pretend this movie doesn’t exist.