Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Anna Kendrick – Beca
John Lithgow – Fergus
Brittany Snow – Chloe
John Michael Higgins – John Smith
Rebel Wilson – Fat Amy (Patricia)
Anna Camp – Aubrey
Hailee Steinfeld – Emily
Hana Mae Lee – Lilly
Ester Dean – Cynthia Rose
Elizabeth Banks – Gail Abernathy-McKadden-Feinberger
Kelley Jakle – Jessica
Shelley Regner – Ashley
Pitch Perfect 3. I had to go see this, I just had to. For two reasons:
A) I have seen the previous two and it would’ve been silly not to.
B) I hoped to god it would override the terrible Pitch Perfect 2, making up for its appalling lack of comedy and stale story development.
I was actually looking forward to this instalment as I sat down amongst many giggly females in the cinema, my sense of humour sharpened and feeling ready to revel in hilarious musical fun..
..absolutely FUCKING DISGRACEFUL. Shocking. Possibly the worst threequel I have ever witnessed in my cinema-going history. I was so disappointed with Pitch Perfect 3 that I genuinely wanted the time I had wasted watching it back. And I was almost angry at the producer’s shabby effort at putting together a movie that was intended to be a comedy, yet coughed up anything but.
If you have seen Pitch Perfect (2012) – leave it there. Embrace its effervescent finale and close the door. Pretend 2 and 3 don’t exist. This is what I’ve done (or had to do). I’ve even seen Pitch Perfect 2 for sale on Amazon for a whopping £2.49, but even I – with a DVD collection of almost 600 – refuse to purchase it and I recently snapped up Disney’s National Treasure (Nicholas Cage) double disc pack for fuck sake. So why did I find Pitch Perfect 3 such a disappointment?
Allow me to explain in bullet points as this movie simply doesn’t deserve my unabridged critique:
The girls (characters) are past it. The Bellas have all graduated and are out in the ‘real world’, but continue to drag themselves back together to try and hold on to what they have (had). This ultimately reeks of desperation; a handful of females who should have given up years ago go running back to try and re-do what their successors are now taking control of. This is regression in its highest form, and how ironic it reflects the tiresome endeavours of producer Elizabeth Banks. Just like the Bellas, the woman just won’t let it go.
The Riff-Off scene is terrible. It begins with Gail – the a cappella commentator – and the phrase, “YES!! A RIFF-OFF!!” tearing from her throat as if the actress just shit herself and needed to desperately get off set. Bizarre open-mouth, wobbly head facial expressions followed this. The Bellas then bop around mixing famous songs and are joined by the musicians they have just met. But it’s awful; the bohemian-cum-redneck performers strum violins and chirrup into the microphone like they are at some sort of promotional gig for themselves in real life. This is the scene where Pitch Perfect 3 is put on hold – and Whiskey Shivers and Ruby Rose both hijack the screen like guests on a breakfast TV show. It’s slightly embarrassing to watch, and I did notice no reaction from the young females in the cinema audience as their blank faces stared forwards..
..probably thinking, “who on god’s earth are you people?”.
Points lost here.
Lithgow makes an appearance as Wilson’s on-screen father. It certainly is a random touch, having the Bellas story split off into Fat Amy’s own personal journey. Sort of irrelevant too, as musical shenannigans suddenly fade into a scene where the larger than life character is seen wandering into a casino dressed exquisitely – and then joined by her estranged father. A brief “did you ever love me?” situation erupts, with Lithgow sporting one of the worst Australian accents I have ever heard in my life. The second the man opened his mouth all the focus was taken off the emotional story, and on the almost ridiculous performance that I can only liken to a mocking of Aussies everywhere. It was horrible to listen to, diluted the drama instantly and threw Wilson into a state of comedy-serious instead of delivering a serious performance for once.
More points lost.
A scene towards the end of Pitch Perfect 3 sees the Bellas kidnapped and held aboard a yacht, with just Beca and Amy available to save them from their hostage situation. So, as part of their rescue mission guess what Beca does?..
..she gets the group to perform Britney Spears’ song Toxic. That’s right – life or death kidnap situation where the captors are wielding GUNS – and the girls get up and perform a dance routine. Added to this unfathomable scene is Beca’s informing the captors (after climbing over the rear railing of the vessel) that she’s been there all along when asked by them where she suddenly came from. Which they believe instantly even though it is painfully obvious she’s just jumped aboard (these men would make excellent Customs agents for P&O).
The Bella girls sitting on the floor in a state of calm like they’re waiting for a bus only adds to the emotion confusion of this scene, it is just stupid. Far-fetched. And above all – not funny at all. And the ‘bad guys’ are about as bad as ballet dancers.
Even more points lost.
With extremely poor humour, flat jokes and a story so immaterial in topic, Pitch Perfect 3 is one of the worst threequels I have ever seen. I cannot stress enough how I felt my time had been wasted going along to the cinema to see this. And my opinion is boosted strongly by the audience reaction also; an auditorium packed full of teenage girls, young women and mothers, who rarely made any form of reaction to show their entertainment. I couldn’t believe it.
Pitch Perfect 3 is an utter waste of money, actor time, filming location, producer and director effort. It’s simply a movie – for movie’s sake, not story. I would honestly rather eat my own testicles than sit through this dire attempt at entertainment again.
A total disappointment. Leave it with the first one.