Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Stephanie Sigman – Sister Charlotte
Anthony LaPaglia – Samuel Mullins
Talitha Bateman – Janice
Lulu Wilson – Linda
Miranda Otto – Esther Mullins
Grace Fulton – Carol
Philippa Coulthard – Nancy
Have you ever felt – theatrically – furious at the producers of a movie? It could be for various reasons; lack of direction, unexpected or unwanted finale, perhaps the production as a whole didn’t live up to the quality of its preceeding instalments (a-hem Insidious:Chapter 3). I don’t mean furious in a personal sense – personally being angry at something or someone would be like your mobile phone provider, or a housemate. But that almost parallel version of being angry (where you have no personal link) at something due to how it has been made or carried out I.E. a film.
I felt that.
I really did.
In fact, I almost walked out of Annabelle: Creation in sheer disgust. This movie wasn’t a horror at all, instead providing the audience with the story of a lonely orphanage and how the female occupants of it interacted with each other on a daily basis. Viewers wishing to get a good feel of how religious residential homes for children are run, or needing tips on the process of adopting a child will be in for a treat. 50% of this movie is centered around Linda and her friend Janice, with the other group of girls sharing the spotlight during certain intervals. One minute you have little Linda following girl 1, girl 2, girl 3 and girl 4 around like a lost sheep. The next you get two of these older girls hanging out in their room like a pair of giggly sorority sisters.
Sister Charlotte then makes an appearance and begins a heart-to-heart conversation with owner of the property, Mr.Mullins. This then leads to a night-time scene where two of the orphan girls make a fort out of a bedsheet and start telling ghost stories..
..there is a jumpy moment when something emerges from the shadows and starts grabbing at the bedsheet.
The movie then continues with Janice discovering there may be something else living in the house with them all.
This was my main and only thought – where was the titular character, the star of the show? Oh that’s right – Annabelle was locked in a cupboard.
The porcelain pain in everyone’s arse was as absent in this movie as Wayne Rooney is in Colleen’s life. Harsh but true. I was instantly bored with Annabelle: Creation, the only decent action taking place towards the end of it when Linda decides to take matters into her own hands.
The final minute or so summarises and explains things which link into the previous movie which is good. To be honest, this final minute was the only one I enjoyed.
If you’re a fan of the Annabelle movies – avoid this film.
If you’re not a fan of the Annabelle movies – avoid this film.
The entire thing is a massive disappointment, offering very little in terms of horror / tension / jumps / scares. I refuse to continue this review.