Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Tom Holland – Peter Parker / Spider-Man
Michael Keaton – Adrian Toomes / Vulture
Marisa Tomei – May Parker
Zendaya – Michelle ‘MJ’ Jones
Donald Glover – Aaron Davis
Robert Downey Jr. – Tony Stark
Why did Marvel feel the need to bestow yet another ‘episode’ of Spider-Man upon the cinema-going public? I can hear the director now: “okay guys, the public have seen it all before, but let’s bring in a young British guy to play an American part to spice it up a bit. Should work..”.
In fact, part of me sat wondering as I watched this movie Friday night why they had:
A: made another Spider-Man movie
B: written a story set in high school, way before Peter Parker had grown up and become the successful hero
C: involved none of the original cast (would’ve added a nice touch)
D: introduced a handful of almost irrelevant characters including high school students, teachers, etc.
The cliché, cheesy love story didn’t help either. Not only did this movie include the classic ‘boy loves girl, girl doesn’t notice him until he does something amazing in front of her, boy bashfully asks girl to “the dance”, both fall in love’ theme, it ran its course like some sort of squeaky Californian teenage soap. I may aswell have stayed home and YouTube’d an episode of Dawson’s Creek. It contained the key ingredients:
Insecure canteen moments, whereby the female love interest is surrounded by her popular friends as Peter looks on, longingly.
The female love interest stood at her open locker, the rival male chatting her up as he leans menacingly on the locker next to hers. Peter approaches, she briefly converses in a, “you’re such a geek, this will never happen… but maybe it will” way. He then leaves, tail between his legs.
Plenty of high school hallway moments involving the protagonist and his best (and somehow only) friend.
The high school dance. Portrayed in every single way you’ve seen previously in many other movies.
This movie isn’t just Spider-Man. It’s Spider-Man ruined by hormones and homework. I am being completely non-bis here when I say the original Spider-Man movies with Tobey Maguire were absolutely the best versions. When those were released (2002 – 2007) something changed. Cult met sci-fi and this franchise was given a striking makeover. Maguire strutting around set with an air of geek glory whilst the producers ensured an almost-fantasy story had a blanket of intrigue thrown over it. These versions had a dark edge and glossy visuals, which drew me in instantly and I wasn’t even a fan of Spider-Man. There was something special about the Maguire versions, the must-have DVD if spotted for cheap on a shop shelf.
The Tom Holland version is just awful, and at one point I wondered if what I was watching was a spin-off. Only it wasn’t, it was exactly the same story – same characters – but lacked that spark to make it the movie I’ve seen previously. Spider-Man: Homecoming didn’t feel like Spider-Man. It felt like the difference between Doctor Who and The Sarah Jane Adventures (BBC). This is basically a very young British guy adopting an American accent and bouncing around the screen with full excitement at the fact he just scored his break in Hollywood. It’s just not overly exciting. And in all honesty, I don’t get why they had to release another ‘early days’ instalment centered around Peter’s high school life.
Like most Marvel flicks, this one keeps rolling with continuous action and wisecrack one-liner’s spoken mostly by the leading man himself. Agility plays a key part with Holland’s character swinging, jumping, tumbling, climbing and bouncing his way towards the closing credits. Younger viewers and fans of the franchise won’t be disappointed at all; this movie coughs up the goods action-wise and is pretty much constant entertainment. Spider-Man: Homecoming also contains a pumping soundtrack to add to the intrepid atmosphere.
Fans won’t be disappointed, but I personally would never consider watching this move again. It’s just not worth it.