Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Zac Efron – Dave Stangle
Adam DeVine – Mike Stangle
Aubrey Plaza – Tatiana
Anna Kendrick – Alice
Stephen Root – Burt Stangle
Sugar Lyn Beard – Jeanie
Alice Wetterlund – Cousin Terry
What an absolutely horrific movie. Seriously, I don’t think I can muster the enthusiasm to pen a full review of Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. But then going by the trailer if you’ve seen it, I’m sure most of you are not surprised by my first opinion.
The movie focuses on two men trying to secure dates for their sister’s wedding. Simples. And the story plays out as it should; strict parents. Sister’s announcement. Two brothers sizing up potential dates. Two shabby girls hearing about their quest and scrubbing up nicely to get the guys and secure a wedding holiday abroad. Fine. BUT – along the way this movie is laced with a type of humour I can’t even describe, which drowns it in immaturity and ruins the entire thing. Immature dialogue can be funny if played out by the right actor in the right movie. But this was just awful, and incredibly cringeworthy.
Lines such as, “oh – ultimatum, I thought you said old tomato” just weren’t funny. At all.
A scene where Mike and Dave are stood on a beach having an argument somehow turns into a conversation about the confectionary product Push-Pop, at which my eyes were wide as I stared at the screen with a “WTF” expression on my face.
One scene sees Mike walk into a room at a salon as his sister indulges in a massage – which makes her ejaculate. That’s right – she cums at the exact moment he enters the room, therefore witnessing his own sister splurge. I don’t even think there’s a word for something so disturbing.
At least 90% of the dialogue between the two lead characters is over-exaggerated, appaling stuff. Conversations seems to spiral into irrelevant rants and opinions about things that have nothing to do with the situation at that moment. Perfect for an audience of thirteen to fourteen year olds (you know – most are still at home, find jokes about the penis funny, etc.) it is beyond immature.
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates is almost insulting to the intelligence. Not helped by this is the bizarre – almost not funny at all – humour brought to the screen by DeVine. I’m sure in other movies or TV shows he brings the house down, but in this.. he spends a lot of time doing that thing he always does; standing on the spot like a stiff soldier, pulling his head back so that he creates a thicker neck for himself, whilst shaking his head very fast in a “no way” sort of gesture.
Aubrey Plaza – absolute saviour. If she hadn’t been cast in this movie, I probably would have found it physically unbearable. The woman singlehandedly pulls the movie along with her brilliantly funny character, Tatiana. She’s slutty, she’s sexy, very funny, and oozes sarcasm every time she opens her mouth. By far the best thing about this movie, Plaza is a pleasure to watch. If you’ve seen the trailer you’ve no doubt seen her “respectable as fuuuuck” speech. This had some of the audience – and myself – laughing out loud. But funny or not, this wasn’t enough. It’s never enough for a bad movie to be held up by one singular person. A good movie is supporter by all of those involved. Plaza was on her own here as she kept the gags coming.
Have you ever watched a movie and it’s terrible – except for one actor – and if you could, you would take that actor out of it and place him or her in a better movie?
I have. And this is what I thought about Plaza. By god, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates wasn’t worthy of her talent. I wanted to pluck her from the screen and drop her into Bad Moms, she would have complemented the cast of that movie wonderfully.
Such a shame.
Is she funny? I just can’t work her out. She leads Pitch Perfect, but even then most of her fellow cast add more humour than her. The woman is petite, pretty, the perfect addition to the cast of a Disney flick (she was an ideal fit for Into The Woods). That’s her thing. But as for raucous comedy.. no.
In fact, Kendrick reminds me of the classic girl in Drama class at school who just couldn’t cut comedy; pretty and fair-faced with a knack for Shakesperian drama and deadly serious plays, but shit at comedy and received slightly shaky laughter from the audience as she tried to deliver funny lines. Yes, Kendrick may be as hilarious as Mary Berry performing stand-up at a comedy club, but she is covered by Plaza all the way.
It’s ironic that Tatiana carries Alice throughout their venture, because it’s exactly what Plaza does with Kendrick. Sorry Anna – harsh but fair.
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.
I needed alcohol after sitting through that shit. This was honestly one of the most excruciatingly tedious movies I have ever seen. From the opening scene, the movie moves too fast; the guys are introduced. Meet up with their parents. Need wedding dates. Find the girls. Go on holiday. There is very little substance to the feature and is like a blank canvas the director threw as much tacky bullshit at as possible, instead of giving it a decent structure.
Added to this is the fact the story feels like it’s set in a parallel world where parents are oblivious to their children’s stupidity. Mike and Dave’s parents seem to glaze over their immature crap, and do nothing in response – it’s just weird.
I rarely say this, but I HATED Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. It was like a Poundland equivalent of a well-produced movie; bland backing cast, unfunny attempts at jokes, tacky script, mediocre story.. I could go on.
But by Christ, I’d rather eat my own testicles than continue discussing this movie.