Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Casey Affleck – Chris Allen
Kate Winslet – Irina Vlaslov
Chiwetel Ejiofor – Michael Atwood
Gal Gadot – Elena
Norman Reedus – Russell Welch
Aaron Paul – Gabe Welch
Woody Harrelson – Sergeant Detective Jeffrey Allen
Anthony Mackie – Marcus Belmont
I exited the cinema absolutely unaffected. Uninspired. Moderately entertained, but with just one main opinion:
Triple Nine was absolutely no different to any other policey flick I’ve sat through, it didn’t even offer a fresh dynamic different to that of various movies I’ve seen of this genre.
Group of chiseled, slightly dirty looking tough guys who swear a lot – CHECK
Two members of this group don’t see eye-to-eye on particular matters and therefore lay into each other at random intervals – CHECK
One member of this group gets nastily mutilated as a way of the enemy (Winslet) sending a message – which could easily be done by other means; I.E. phone call / text message – CHECK
Speeding vehicles and fast action taking place on highway bridges and in parking lots – CHECK
The token black guy, token tough guy, and the token pussy – CHECK
The cop who is still emotionally attached to his frizzy-haired, hoop earring-wearing ex-girlfriend and only child – CHECK
In truth, this movie is a backburner. A warm-up round before the main feature begins. It all sort of happens – then finishes. But on the plus side, one scene did have me gripped. Near the beginning, the men perform a robbery which goes wrong. They become trapped and surrounded by the police, forcing them to split up. A great air of threat here with aggression turning into panic as the characters wonder how the hell they’re going to escape the situation..
I enjoyed this. Sheer dread. I was nicely captured by the scenario, entertaining stuff.
And that was it – the only scene that held my interest. Otherwise, Triple Nine was constant mafia-style chat, greasy parking lots, cop chat, detectives doing detective stuff, and boring family issues I honestly couldn’t give a shit about. I had my arms folded for quite a while during this movie, and kept switching arse cheeks – left. Numb. Right. Numb. Left – and so on..
The only striking element of this movie I can think of is Winslet’s hair. Proper quiffed in bouffant style, the actress is given a completely new appearance – just by having her barnet done. And as always, she puts her all into the role of Irina which gives viewers a Russian bitch to despise. Winslet is deliciously evil, at points delivering moments which bring a laugh or two (someone somewhere in the audience giggled). Her characteristics are spot-on, and as a cast member with very minimal screen time she makes the most of it. Given the fact Reedus, Affleck, Mackie and the other males remain their usual selves with hardly any effort put in to create characters different to what they normally play, I’d say Winslet is the best performer in this entire movie.
Her dynamics are raised, whereas the men have none at all; they are simply sweaty, greasy-skinned tough guys who glance sideways out of slitty eyes whilst barking good ideas in a hesitant manner (Reedus) and bop around shouting wisecracks with the odd “motherfucker” thrown in (Mackie).
For a late evening watch when you have nothing else to do, Triple Nine isn’t a bad watch. But if you’re expecting a heavyweight blockbuster bursting with excitement, it is far from it. Only one scene gripped me during the entire movie which isn’t great.
But hey – that’s Hollywood. You get shit, or you get gold.