Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Laila, a girl on the run from her family is hiding out in West Yorkshire with her drifter boyfriend Aaron. When her brother arrives in town with a gang of thugs in tow, she is forced to flee for her life and faces her darkest night.
Sameena Jabeen Ahmed – Laila
Connor McCarron – Aaron
Gary Lewis – Tony
Barry Nunney – Barry
Ali Ahmad – Zaheer
Practically EVERYTHING that happens in this movie is irrelevant. And incredibly uninteresting. From the opening scene of Catch Me Daddy, I sat wondering if gripping scenes of intrigue and suspense would occur. The plot outline I read certainly insinuated this.
..but I was still wondering if such scenes would happen just before the ending credits rolled. This was a movie of epic disappointment. The plot was all there – it was just executed in very poor style. I have seen many British independent movies, I’m no stranger to them. I know they walk a fine line between fantastic, and a flop. And if directed in the right way with an entertaining script, and captivating cast ensemble, chances are the movie will be a hit. For example, back in 2012 I went along to the cinema to see British movie Pusher starring Richard Coyle. I dislike ‘gangster’ movies, I hadn’t even seen this one advertised. But although far from my preferred genre of movie, Pusher had me on the edge of my seat from opening scene to closing credits. Suspense, dread, intrigue, tension – and a brilliant cast delivering it all made this one of my favourite ‘didn’t know anything about it before seeing it’ movies. I loved it. The plot was simple – just like Catch Me Daddy – and played out in such a threatening fashion that I was gripped constantly.
Catch Me Daddy contained the same potential (I stress the word potential); an interesting story fuelled by scenarios which could have been explosive. Yet it failed miserably to deliver the goods.
In a nutshell, the film follows Laila who is on the run from her family (I honestly couldn’t have been less interested to find out the reasons why) with her boyfriend Aaron. The first 50 minutes or so sees the pair quite literally sitting around doing nothing. Which takes place in a caravan on the West Yorkshire moors (some pretty sights to distract viewers from the tedious lethargic camping activities of two young adults here thank god). The camera occasionally cuts to a ‘quiet’ scene; one example being outside the caravan where Laila sits on the doorstep, staring into space.
Then we’re back inside the caravan watching Aaron sitting on the sofa smoking a cigarette, whilst Laila spends an great amount of time doing absolutely nothing right in front of him. I could almost hear the camera men sighing as the movie continued to shoot, with myself sittng back in my seat (chin resting in palm of hand) silently mouthing the words, “for fuck sake, I just DO NOT care”. These two lead characters took me nowhere. Did nothing to entertain me. And in reverse of lead characters, actually repelled me away from them. The movie was honestly turning out like some sort of reality TV documentary – which hadn’t been edited and all the dull, mundane action left in.
I have to be honest – sitting through this movie was excrutiating. Have you ever felt so damn bored during something that you begin to feel tense? Agitated? Slightly weary? Maybe your eyes scan the room around you to find something more interesting (like a lightbulb) to look at, and you end up gazing at it until you realise you missed four or so minutes of the movie?
Welcome to Catch Me Daddy.
If this movie did excel at one thing it was the ability to be completely irrelevant. Even the bad guys didn’t make much of an impression and seemed like they were rehearsing a script in a college class. They spend 80% of the movie sat around in cars or strutting down lanes swearing at each other and conversing about all things alcoholic or illegal substance. And then.. they actually end up sat in a fish & chip shop wolfing their supper (which I honestly think was the intention of the cast themselves). The men sent by ‘Daddy’ had as much presence on screen as a bag of Ready Salted crisps. Henchmen sent by a wealthy man to retrieve his daughter couldn’t have made less of an impact – it was literally as though they were going for a drive but wondering (not even trying to find) where the wealthy man’s daughter was. I soon started wriggling in my seat, I wanted out. But I thought I’d give the movie a chance and stay..
Massive applause for the extras who took part in the production of this movie. Not just for making it through to the end without dying, but for them delivering a better performance than the main cast. Yes – the random people who popped on and off screen were actually better than Ahmed and McCarron themselves. These valuable people added sheer relief to the pile of shit I had to endure, and I was grateful for it.
To better explain the atmosphere, I would liken it to being in hospital in a serious situation. Have you ever been sat on a hospital bed, either the injured party (moaning and crying) or the friend / relative accompanying someone who is seriously ill. The situation couldn’t be more dull. Unwelcome. Draining. But along comes a nurse with a brilliant attitude, who says or does something that makes you laugh out loud or smile warmly. That feeling of appreciation that the nurse has shattered the dark atmosphere and made you feel human again.
Bosh – right there.
This is similar to how relieving the film extras were. Firstly, the young chap in the milkshake shop was hilarious. Clearly off his face on some sort of fume he had ingested, he was constantly smiling through red eyes and evoked the first bit of laughter from the audience in over an hour of the movie starting (even Laila pulling faces at Aaron in the caravan didn’t get a reaction – it just made her look like an idiot).
Second, a taxi driver who picks up the runaway pair in a village displays a prime example of an overly chatty taxi man who talks complete crap – continuously. Moaning about his wife and life in general without either Laila or Aaron interested in his waffling, the man had the audience laughing heartily again.
It’s thanks to these minimal characters that I hadn’t walked out yet. They were an utter relief, radiating better and more entertaining dynamics than the main cast. ‘Extra’ is the ironic word here – they certainly bought us viewers some extra time.
I refuse to discuss Catch Me Daddy any further. Just thinking about it irritates me. The entire movie was irrelevant and lacking in any form of action. It is one of those features that throws in a decapitation of a human to spice things up, but backfires nicely due to it being unnecesarily aggressive. This is one movie where I genuinely felt as though I wanted my time back. Where I felt cheated and had wasted my time watching it. Oh, the producers have sugar-coated it with a nice colourful artistic poster – but the end product is the opposite. Complete with a lead actress who is vile to look at, Catch Me Daddy lacks purpose. Has absolutely no structure or meaning.
(on a different note, I have tried looking the movie up online – Wikipedia has aboslutely no record of it, and the main actors are shaded out boxes on IMDb).
If I was a millionaire, I would probably visit every DVD stockist in the country upon its release and purchase every single copy to send into outer space – so that I could rescue the general public from an absolutely excruciating watch.
Aren’t I good to you!?