The Wolf Of Wall Street

WORD OF WARNING:

If you dislike very lengthy movies, be prepared..

I entered the auditorium at roughly 16:20. And I did not exit until 19:56.

 

 

It is 1987. Jordan Belfort steps off of a bus in Wall Street, New York. Dressed in a smart suit he approaches a sky-scraping building, pushes open the doors open, and enters a whole new world. But those few steps through the door of this building are going to lead Jordan in a totally different direction. He only wanted to be a stockbroker – but his world is about to explode.

And he’d better be ready for what’s coming…

 

 

 

Well Done Leo

Let me make one thing clear: I don’t usually like Leonardo. His movies really don’t do anything for me at all, and he seems to be typecast as the dapper suit-wearing cheeky boy every time. Whenever I see him, he’s stood with a glass of whisky in his hand, releasing cries of “WOO HOO!” at the prospect of a plan coming together… blah, blah, fucking blah. And The Wolf Of Wall Street?..

..he was fucking BRILLIANT. Basically.

This is probably the best movie I have ever seen him in. Physical comedy, jokes & one-liner’s, deep emotion, rage, calm – every possible emotion is displayed by Mr.DiCaprio – I honestly cannot fault him; he carried the entire movie (and not just because he was the lead role) with an endless stream of dynamics – one second he’s sky-high, the next he’s rock bottom – he was just superb. His ability to bounce off any cast member never faltered either – the chemistry seemed to pulsate wonderfully between Leonardo and any of his supporting artists.

I have never through of Leonardo DiCaprio as “funny” or “hilarious. I just consider him smart and a tad smarmy. Which is why I revelled in his on-screen comedy antics. He proper stepped up his game for this movie, delivering script with great comedic timing and topping it off with physical hilarity. I’ve always thought he had a rather unique look about him – a bit funny looking if I’m honest, but you know – he’s perfectly individual. But then came the face-pulling..

Physical Face Value

Pulling some bizarre faces seems to be a speciality of our lead actor. And that’s without the physical stuff he can do too. One part which stands out for me is when he drives his car home whilst being off his face on some form of drug. Jordan, feeling rather miffed at why a 20-year-old drug hasn’t kicked in yet, chats away on the telephone to a colleague – when suddenly, the pill does kick in and his speech immediately melts from conversation to strange slurring..

He hits the floor, and tries desperately to crawl toward the door of the building he is in.

It seems to take forever as he manoeuvres his body from the building, then outside. Jordan twists and snaps his body into some hilarious shapes as he wriggles out – but then comes to the steps outside.. which he subsequently hammers down, arse-over-tit. We then watch helplessly as the poor bugger struggles (whilst trying to get his legs back round to the front of his body) to access his car – and then attempt to drive home. This scene had the audience ROARING with laughter. I’m not kidding either. The atmosphere in the cinema ignited as everyone LOL’d hysterically at Leonardo’s finest moment.

And to top the physical comedy, his driving home involved some bloody weird facial expressions. As I mentioned, he has a unique face – but the second his cheeks puffed out, mouth dropped and his eyes became even more slitty than they already are, I fucking HOOTED with laughter. I’ve never seen him like this before, but trust me – he’s hilarious. Like the situation where you see a very straight-laced mature work colleague drunk, falling all over the place and throwing some very strange shapes with their body.

It was just fantastic.

 

 

 

Sex, Drugs, And … Even More Drugs

The Wolf Of Wall Street is practically drowning in powder, pills and all sorts of illegal liquids. Believe me when I say, you get your fair share of sniffing crack (off of prostitutes cracks, ironically), smoking substances, even more sniffing, and a hell of a lot of flowing alcohol. The only thing missing are the needles, but perhaps the director thought he’d draw the line there. I almost felt as if I’d sat down to watch an ‘A-Z Of The Best Things To Stick Up Your Nose’; the drugs are non-stop. So if you dislike the illegal stuff – then tough shit. You’re going to have to swallow it. (or sniff it, even)

Supporting Cast

The cast are excellent, they make a splendid ensemble and are all as strong as each other, whilst delivering various levels of entertainment at the same time.

The ‘Yo-Yo Dieter of Hollywood’ Jonah Hill never fails with funny; delivering his one-liner’s with comic precision and bouncing off Leonardo with a chemistry that makes them a delicious double-act.

Matthew McConaughey drops in only briefly as Mark Hanna – a sort of role model for Jordan who introduces him to the world of the stockbroker market. For his very short screen time, he made the audience LOL as he mentors Jordan with an incredibly uncensored attitude (one of his first questions being, “do you jerk off Jordan?”..

Margot Robbie as Jordan’s wife Naomi splashes sex all over the screen, at the same time as being an incredibly fierce character. Just when you think her slut-turned-housewife personality has been feisty enough, we arrive at the scene where she sits on the floor and slowly opens her legs in front of Jordan (sans pants), and drives him crazy with her ‘love muffin’..

Rob Reiner, Kyle Chandler and Jon Favreau are great as back-up cast. I was slightly surprised to see The Walking Dead’s Jon Bernthal as Brad – a proper meathead criminal.

The supporting cast are just as good as the lead roles, so you’re never stuck for entertainment. But then of course, one hell of a British gem makes her appearance…

 

 

 

Joanna – What Are You Doing There?!

What a jolly spiffing addition to the cast.

Joanna Lumley pops up halfway through the movie as Naomi’s aunt Emma. Her first line is a laugh-extractor as she comments on Jordan’s post-drugged state, announcing, “I lived through the sixties, dear” with a wonderfully wicked glint in her eyes. It was a cherry on the icing having Joanna as part of the cast; usually we get the likes of old Judy Dench chucked into a movie to be the ‘British Mummy’ – this time round, a much treasured member of British television got called to step in. She’s only in the movie briefly – appearing two or three times – but her distinctive British voice and funny script is what peanut butter is to chocolate for Reece’s Pieces.

Delicious, basically.

 

 

 

Take Stock – Of The Market

Those who are interested in the stock market overall, will no doubt enjoy The Wolf Of Wall Street. Much of the beginning is steeped in ringing telephones, flashing numbers and money. Oh, and men in shirts & ties. In fact, the whole premise of Jordan working his way to the top and what he gets up to on his way there puts 1987’s Wall Street to shame..

I have absolutely no interest in the stock market but I was fascinated. Again, those who are in the industry or have a keen interest, will be very satisfied.

 

 

 

Crazy, Sexy, Cool

As we watch Jordan stampede through his later years, anything you could possibly imagine a human being getting up to is thrown at the audience. From fucking random hookers on his office desk (whilst the entire office watches) to setting up a giant velcro board on the office floor and launching midget men at it, Jordan opens our eyes up to a world of complete insanity. Anything most of us have always wanted to do, but never had the balls to do it – is done.

Swimming pools filled with drunken revellers, office employees drugged up at lunchtime, FBI raids aboard a yacht gathering, and even the day Jordan decides to bombard his entire office with a brass band, nude dancers and entertainers – its all just wild, crazy, brilliant. The madness continues further with gay orgy’s (I fucking lapped up this bit), terrifying car accidents and even an airplane full of ‘pumping passengers’ (yes, I’m talking about sex again).

This is the kind of movie you want to put on one afternoon as you prepare to go out for the night; it certainly put me in the party mood. I exited the cinema and felt the urge to hit the nearest bar!

 

 

 

Titanic II

I had to laugh: one part of the movie sees Jordan hit the seas with Naomi aboard a gargantuan yacht. They are heading for Monaco so that they can drive to Switzerland. However, when they encounter an incredibly violent storm, the pair are thrown about the yacht as water starts crashing in..

I wonder how many other audience members thought, “Titanic” at the sight of a soaked Leonardo DiCaprio, holding on to his beau as he stares helplessly out of the window and across the sea. I don’t know if director Martin Scorsese had a slight joke in the back of his mind – maybe not – but either way, this scene rang incredibly ironic.

 

 

 

Storyteller

The Wolf Of Wall Street is based on the memoir of real-life Jordan Belfort; a New York stockbroker who ran a firm that saw securities fraud and corruption on Wall Street during the 90’s – an element which made the movie that little bit more intriguing. The fact it is based on a real person’s life and the fantastically fraudulent antics he got up to, made it even more juicy. Leonardo DiCaprio narrates the story throughout, with brilliant delivery and a very colourful style.

Although the movie is very lengthy, I sat glued to the screen continuously and was captivated throughout its entirety.

 

 

 

What Went Wrong

The length. Literally, the only downside to The Wolf Of Wall Street is its length. Its roughly 180 minutes long – which was enough to make me switch arse cheeks a good few times, and exhale in classic, “oh, fuck sake, when is it gonna end?” style. The thing is I’m torn. Catch 22 – it was a fantastic movie, I was fully entertained.. but became slightly tedious toward the end.

 

 

 

 

 

Overall, The Wolf Of Wall Street is brilliant. Its a non-stop wave of carnage displayed in a deafening celebratory style. It is insane yet rational. Emotional yet hilarious. It is colourful, sexy, tragic and terrific. And full of deliciously wicked greed.

..and all this is just the first hour…

Enjoy!

8/10