Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases
Hands up if you remember the first one..
..if you do, remember it and savour it – because if you’re thinking of heading to the cinema to see this one, I’d stay at home.
This movie was flat. Very flat. What surprised me was how quickly everything happens. Carrie has her period, Carrie is invited to Prom, Carrie gets her own back – BANG, BANG, BANG. This movie was more of a recap for those who missed the original and wanted the main details. But overall – it shouldn’t have been made.
Carrie 2013 completely crushed Carrie 1976, just by being produced. Sitting there, watching the current actors relaying exactly the same phrases as the original and carrying out each scene actually made me cringe throughout. A few scenes were played exactly how the original’s was, except they messed about with the script; and this was another cringeworthy element – they copied most of the material from 1976 too.
The problem was, the director made this lot play out certain scenes exactly like the original – but they quickly veered off into their own little movie creation. Weird.
Remember “you girls did a really shitty thing, a really shitty thing”, “plug it up!”, or even “they’re all gonna laugh at ‘choo” ? – these and more familiar lines are in this movie. Which in a way, was nice and familiar, but at the same time I kept thinking, “why are they re-doing all this?”..
I have to say, Julianne Moore was fantastic as bible-bashing mother Margaret. She continuously keeps up pace, performing faultlessly. Wide, manic eyes and a frail posture, she was cast perfectly and the director honestly couldn’t have given the role to a better actress. Its actually rather scary, how well-suited she was!
Her rocking back and forth whilst reciting passages from the Bible was deliciously creepy. And as for the self-harm (not in the original), scary. Overall, Julianne was perfect – slamming her own head against the wall, and the eerie way she would peer through the crack in the door – excellent.
Her ragged features and strewn red hair only added to the character.
This story was almost meaningless in 2013. Back in 1976, the world was different; bullying was scarier, manners and courtesy were used more by people, and of course – there was a big lack of Apple iPhone‘s and YouTube.
So bringing back this classic tale in this modern day felt completely irrelevant. Everything: Carrie having her period, being ‘odd one out’ in gym class, ‘Mama’ throwing her in the cupboard under the stairs and forcing her to pray.. was all cancelled out by iPhones, laptops and the way modern-day teenagers handle things. Manners are different, rules are different, people in general are different – the overall story just did not gel with 2013.
Everyone remembers the ‘bloody bucket’ scene; Carrie having been taken to the Prom by Tommy, is announced Queen and steps up on to the stage – only to be showered in pigs blood. Poor piggy..
I sat eyebrows arched, as the bucket poured over her.
..and did it again.
…and one more time.
Yes, we got a slow-motion shower from every camera angle possible. Almost as if the director announced, “OK guys – I want three or four takes of the blood hitting Carrie – just so the people at home are fully clear what happened in the original! We need to show this shit!”
We know what bloody (pun intended) happened, why the heck did they need to show it so many times?
Oh, and whilst I’m on the subject – the whole bucket thing just didn’t work. As I’ve mentioned, the 1976 story just doesn’t gel well with 2013 technology. The main female bully and her boyfriend are above the stage, holding a rope – attached to a bucket.. seriously? In an age of such technical gadgets and mechanics, they’re actually pulling a very nasty prank – with a bucket and rope?
One thing I never understood in Carrie 1976, was why she killed the gym teacher. Miss Collins had never done anything wrong to Carrie and in fact, had helped her discover ‘being a woman’ (OK, she introduced her to lipstick), and at the end of the original, the teacher meets her grisly end when a chunk of the school ceiling twats her, just about slicing her in two.
In this version, Carrie levitates Miss Collins and throws her to one side whilst she takes care of the student body in front of her. She is later seen outside the school, arm in a sling. Yay. This was possibly the only part of the movie I was satisfied with.
The whole grisly finale is actually a rather quick process, and ends abruptly. But although it did not live up to its original scare factor, Chloë Grace Moretz is proper weird – standing up on stage, elegantly waving her arms around as if she’s taking part in some strange Tai Chi performance.
And on that note..
She’s good. Not great – but good. She delivers Carrie as best as she can, but she’s no Oscar-winner. To be honest, I can’t look at her without thinking, “Hit Girl” (Kick-Ass) – pouty and full of attitude, she’s not exactly the shy and retiring type.
I have to be honest, she didn’t surprise me at all. Oh, her acting was spot-on but she just didn’t quite win me over. Perhaps its that whole ‘flared-nostril’ look she’s got going on – she always comes across as some sort of vicious predator, not a victim.
So whilst she may not be overly convincing as the terrifying girl who can crack mirrors just by looking at them, one thing she does manage to deliver is the passionately hateful stare at the camera with gritted teeth.
During the Prom scene, after she is drenched in blood, Carrie slowly turns around to face the school body.. and suddenly I thought, “ooh – that’s a nice colourful contact lense”
From out of nowhere, someone has nipped up onto the stage and got her to tilt her head back (whilst taking a deep breath of course), as they pop a Halloween contact lense into her right eye. Its bright, bold and completely obvious – and just in one eye.
Fuck knows who decided to quickly pull that off!
Everything happens so fast. And I think its because I’ve seen the original version of this movie. I knew how the story was unfolding, what was coming, and when. So quite literally, this movie was a recap – a sort of, “here’s what happens in three minutes or less”
Perhaps it is because I’ve seen the original and know what happens, that this one was over before it started. The final scene (in the original) sees Carrie’s hand protrude from her grave.. this one shows her grave split (as if being struck by lightening) whilst modern rock music blasts in, before the credits come up. It was just awful.
Overall, this was pointless. A classic movie which they should not have touched. Its almost an insult to its predecessor, and if I was Kimberly Peirce (director) I would honestly feel the need to apologise to Hollywood, everyone involved with version 1976, and the poor audience who have to sit through it.
I wonder what Chloë and Julianne really thought of it all..
Definitely not worth paying to see – save your money. Wait for the rental.. and don’t even pay for the rental.