Ricky's Film Reviews

Bringing you honest reviews of recent releases

Blue Is The Warmest Colour

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CONTAINS STRONG HOMOSEXUAL REFERENCES & PICTURES

Adèle is a secondary-school student who appears to be living a nice, normal life like her fellow schoolmates. And she seems very content, dating Thomas – the ‘high school hunk’. But its not until the fateful day one of her female classmates kisses her..

Because after this playful smooch, Adèle is thrown into a world of sexual awakening, which involves much discovery, confusion, emotion and decision. Life is about to throw many things her way, and she’d best be ready for them..

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OK, first off – if you’re expecting a movie where you’re in – enjoy – and out.. expect not. This film is just over 3 hours long. It’s a biggun’ (pun fully intended). But although lengthy, it is far from uninteresting. Blue Is The Warmest Colour delivers well and is quite enjoyable.

Girl / Boy – Boy / Girl

Adèle’s love interest in the movie is pretty girl Emma (Léa Seydoux) – she has peachy skin, bright blue eyes, and soft luscious hair..

..but it is so obvious she’s a lesbian. How? Because she has all the characteristics of a man; butch stance, short hair, a slight swagger.

Across the years, I have had this discussion with many people: Why are lesbians butch, and gay men camp? Obviously not all of them – but a good percentage of the world’s gay people act up to the cliché, BIG TIME. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a homosexual myself (hard to believe I know) but I don’t think, “hey, I’ll wiggle-walk like a girl, wear feminine clothes, and wave limp wrists about the place! This will mean I am different, and anyone who gets in my way will have to accept me for who I am!”..

If a guy acts like a girl, there’s a much less chance I’m going to fancy him – because I like guys not girls. Correct, no? If a girl walks around acting all masculine, how can another girl fancy her, because she likes women, not men!!

This element of the world of Gay has always dumbfounded me, however much I am involved with it. I do not like girls, I like guys – act like a girl and I will not be turned on, because I like guys not GIRLS. AAAAARRRRRGGGH!!

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My point is: Emma is masculine. Glad I could make that clear.

Acting

My first impression of this movie is that the acting is just superb. Absolutely spot-on. In fact, the actors play it out so well, I wondered if this was some sort of documentary – even in documentaries some of the main people act up for the camera – but this didn’t even do that. Everything about the story and portrayal of it was incredibly engaging, and believable.

Adèle Exarchopoulos is a wonderful little actress. I’ve never seen such a juicy human being; every few minutes there were tears streaming down her face, or snot pouring from her nose. She was quite literally, a ‘big drip’ – but with every emotional second she was on screen, I felt I was right there with her. I actually felt it – it was raw, upsetting.

Bille Baguette-Piper

Exarchopoulos reminded me of British television actress Billie Piper. Goofy mouth, big teeth, and a deep soulful look in her big brown eyes. Just had to point that out; the similarity is uncanny. Oh, saying that – her teeth are shocking. This little French woman can act, but by Christ, her ‘nashers are any dentist’s dream. I myself, sat there thinking, “I want to fix your teeth. I want to fix your teeth right now”

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Coming Out

One element the director / actors nail fantastically is ‘feeling’. We’re taken on a journey as Adèle takes her first steps in the world of homosexuality; her first experience being inside a lesbian bar. As she walks in, she nervously looks around and takes everything in – from the decor and music, to the scary sight of women passionately kissing. We’ve seen it all before haven’t we (for example, Nathan in Queer As Folk as he nervously enters his first gay bar) but somehow this was different; a girl and her first time. (maybe because men are all after cock, whereas with women its usually deeper than that)

I remember my first time in a gay bar. I was bloody terrified! My very first boyfriend sat us down at a table, and as he went off to get drinks I was frozen to the spot. Looking around, all I could take in were the mechanical ceiling lights, uber-gay dance versions of my favourite pop songs playing, and of course – the men. I was physically shaking at the overwhelming feeling of it all..

But it was this feeling which returned for me, as Adèle took her first steps. Her journey of sexual discovery was clearly displayed, and done well.

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The story continues with Adèle and Emma entering a heavy relationship. At first there is a huge age difference between the pair (Adèle being still at school). Emma serves as a form of emotional and sexual mentor for Adèle, and in time, they move in together. Being a student of Fine Art, Emma features Adèle as a subject in her figurative work (think Jack in Titanic, when he paints Rose laying on the couch). The movie skips foward a few years, and as time moves on, so do their careers; Emma becomes a reputable artist at a local gallery, Adèle has become a teacher at a local primary school.

However, when a male colleague of Adèle’s shows an interest in her, things take a sudden U-turn.  Flirting and heightened feelings for people ends in a tearful showdown between the two lesbians, and their relationship is brought to an explosive climax (not a good one) – one of the pair is kicked out of their apartment.

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69 Lesbians

..no, I don’t mean 69 singular lesbians. I mean the sexual act ’69’.

I will say for the record, if any of you dislike very graphic sex scenes between two women, then steer clear. Honestly, some of this movie is any heterosexual man’s dream (yes boys, you may leave the cinema soaked) as our two ‘lezzers’ get down to some proper filth.

Oh, don’t get me wrong – I’ve taken part in some awfully jolly acts myself (I’m no stranger to the odd Barrel-Push), but this was everlasting..

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(yes girls, us guys can take it from the front too.

..only difference being of course, another man can fuck us as long as he wants and we won’t get pregnant)

I wasn’t expecting what I witnessed today. At all. And by Christ, do they ‘get down to it’ – the two girls eat more pussy in 3 minutes than I’ve blinked in a whole day. One scene is so lengthy, that I had my mouth open in total shock (and I don’t shock easily); screams of delight, slapping, squelching, dripping, it’s all inclusive, naturally. And then of course, the part where Adèle stands – with Emma underneath her..

(I was really trying to fathom what Emma was doing to Adèle at one point; one was laying on her front, arse in the air – the other behind, pressing her vagina into her’s, as if fucking her – I just couldn’t get my head around it! Surely it’d be like bashing two loaves of Hovis together?.. unless she had a very small strap-on of course.)

It was porn. It really was. Emma sits, mouth suckered onto her girlfriend’s vagina as if clunge is going out of fashion – I’ve never seen anything like it. And if this was a ‘Straight Boy Exam’ I’m proud to say I failed with flying colours, as I genuinely felt sick when the scene was over. I must say, the pack of Quorn cocktail sausages I took along with me to the cinema.. let’s just say – I wish I didn’t have the sensation of damp sausage sliding in and out of my mouth, whilst watching two girls ‘bucket’ each other.

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That was just sinister.

One Hell Of A ‘Beau Saucisse’

While we’re on the theme of sex, I would quickly like to throw in a penis – no, not my own, you filthy bastards – but one of the actor’s. Thomas (played by gorgeous Jérémie Laheurte) has a brief fling with Adèle at the beginning of the movie. And the scene where they have sex had me writhing with jealously.

..after they’re done with doggy, Thomas flips her over ready for missionary. And his willy flops to the side; yes – for a split-second we get a glimpse of his tool. And its fucking BEAUTIFUL. Length, girth, size – even the bloody colour was gorgeous.

I so want that on my mantlepiece.

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A-HEM.

It’s A Small (minded) World

Once scene sees Adèle and her schoolmates hanging around, before first class. One of her fellow girl friends asks if its true – that she went to a gay bar with her male schoolfriend Valentin. As the truth is revealed, a fight erupts, in which the main bully girl yells, “YOU SLEPT NAKED IN MY BED THAT TIME YOU STAYED OVER! YOU WANT MY ASS, YOU’LL NEVER HAVE MY ASS”

Oh, don’t you just love a bit of homophobia? What makes me laugh every time, is that the person spouting homophobic comments naturally assumes the victim wants a piece of them.. but they actually – don’t. Yes, we may all suckle our own sweetheart, but if you think you’re on the cards, you can fuck right off.

It’s all about the person nowadays, isn’t it. Who gives a crap if the beautiful object stood in front of you is male or female; if you get that content feeling as you look into their eyes – that chemistry that pulses as you both smile at each other.. then fuck it. Go with it.

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The French

This movie shows French culture at its highest. Having lived in France myself I know what they’re like; impatient buggers who talk too fast and too much, eat manic portions of food as if its their final day on Earth, but above all – always remain polite and social.

Every other scene someone has got something in their mouth (oi oi!) – nearer the beginning of the feature, Adèle is on a date with Thomas, and she literally talks her way through the humungous tortilla wrap she’s eating. Necking the food and waffling away at the same time – she doesn’t bloody stop for air!

Yes, this movie perfectly displays the French culture; kisses on both cheeks to everyone they meet (which is fucking exhausting I know), slurping wine, crunching food, in-depth conversation about their careers at the dinner table (where let’s face it, the highlight of most British dinner tables is, “I had a wank earlier”) – you can’t fault the French. They’re wonderfully cultured.

I Understand

Back in 2009, I met a guy online who was bi-curious and wanted to meet up to try gay sex. So we met up and had sex – just the once. But after that first meeting, we became obsessed with each other..

Laying in each other’s arms, he (unnamed) used to stroke my face, (I’d never felt anything so tender), me passionately, kiss my forehead, stroke my nose until I fell asleep in his arms.. I was the happiest I’ve ever been, and we were both content just holding each other – no sex needed. There was a slight issue though.

He had a girlfriend.

And two little children.

The more me and him met up, the more we talked about how wonderful it would be to get a place together – so we could be together…

I then suddenly came to my senses, and put an end to it all. As in love as we were, this guy had commitments – and I would not get in the way of that – so one night, I called him – and ended the whole thing.

I could hear him crying his eyes out on the other end, and when I hung up, I also burst into tears. I cried for a few days after this. It felt like someone in my life had died. My heart had broken. I had never been in love before, but I now know how it feels.

He had taught me how to love someone, and I had taught him how to be happy.

I never spoke to him again.

My point here is, when desire takes hold of you – you can’t control it. Male or female. And the emotions that come with this desire can be extremely deep.

Obviously this is different to Adèle and Emma’s love story, but my point is, ANYONE can fall in love with ANYONE. I felt every emotion (especially the pain) during this movie. Whenever Adèle was crying, I thought to myself, “yep. I understand”

 

Invisible Fingering

Toward the end of the movie, our two lesbian protagonists meet up in a restaurant. Polite conversation leads to a swift sexual encounter, whereby they finger each other (heavily) – but what I couldn’t fathom is that absolutely no-one else in the restaurant noticed!! 

These two proper went at it (classic thumb just below belly button, remaining four fingers delivering delight) but they were surrounded in their own forcefield. It wasn’t until one of them gets up and leaves, that the other turns round.. and a customer on the other side of the room glances up at her.

Weird. I might have to try this myself.

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WARNINGS

AVOID IF:

You dislike watching homosexuality in practise 

Very long films

You are possibly religious

WATCH IF:

You like a good, involving love story

You enjoy watching lesbians ‘do it’

You are a heterosexual man with a hard-on

..or a moist lesbian.

Overall, Blue Is The Warmest Colour is a raw, gritty performance of human reaction. Its highly emotional and sexually charged content is to be admired, as it touches on genuine issues people experience and the results gained from them.

Every tear, every sob, every lingering gaze – I felt. The acting really was that good. It kept me absorbed all the way through.

My rating is based on acting quality and how involved it kept me throughout.

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Cast members Lea Seydoux and Adele Exarchopoulos pose during a photocall for the film

10/10

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This entry was posted on November 29, 2013 by .
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