A very evil evening will take place. And you’re all invited.
..but will you survive the night?
Lock your doors and stay tuned..
But so is something else.
The fourth movie in the Transformers series stars Mark Wahlberg as a mechanic who buys a truck, but inadvertently brings Optimus Prime bursting back to life. But there is another alien race out there who have arrived on Earth, bent on taking the Transformers down.
Humans, Transformers, Decepticons – which race will survive the impending war?..
Mark Wahlberg – Cade Yeager
Stanley Tucci – Joshua Joyce
Kelsey Grammer – Harold Attinger
Nicola Peltz – Tessa Yeager
Jack Reynor – Shane Dyson
Titus Welliver – James Savoy
Sophia Myles – Darcy Tirrel
Optimus Prime – Peter Cullen
Bumblebee – Mark Ryan
Hound – John Goodman
..as in – I grew physically tense. The wrong sort of tense, in which a person become fidgety and tedious of everything that is going on in front of them. Transformers: Age of Extinction was just awful, from beginning to end – I honestly mean that. Bursting at the seams with cliché script, classic irritating characters you’d roll your eyes at, and ‘funny’ one-liner’s which actually brought reactions of silence from the audience, this is one movie they should have left on the cutting room floor.
..and swept into the trash.
There was nothing major that stood out about this movie, no winning elements, it just seemed to flow like any other ‘metal man monster’ action flick. Single family man struggling to raise child accidentally discovers killing machine, befriends it, and enters war with it. That’s it. And toward the end of the movie I was literally squirming in my seat, mumbling, “come oooooon, please, come on..” trying to will the feature to an end – because what started as “oh dear”, quickly became “for fuck sake”.
Transformers: Age of Extinction was one war too many, which started nicely between autobot and human, but spiralled into fights between these races, between humans themselves, and of course the Decepticons trying to finish off Transformers. It was beyond messy, ironically mirrored by the crumbling cities falling apart around the main characters.
I wanted to be won over by something – anything. Unfortunately, I sat staring at the screen during epic showdown scenes with a completely straight face. Excuse my lingo, but the movie was one of the biggest pieces of shit I have ever had to endure at the cinema.
But surely something went right?
Anything at all?…
The effects used during this movie were admirable, and very effective. Exploding vehicles, falling buildings, melting faces, the producers waste no time in adding a bit of bang. The Transformers are brilliantly swish, churning themselves from one form to the other – these parts happen quite quickly, so keep your eyes on the screen or you may miss it; during a few scenes I had a “how’d that car get there?.. Oh yes, it’s a Transformer” kind of reaction. It happens that fast. I’m thinking a lot of the budget went into the graphics, the movie is packed solid with swirling metal, fire explosions, sparks, etc. and it’s all very good – younger viewers will no doubt love every minute of the wonderfully colourful stuff.
And then you have the structual side; train tracks splitting in half sending the carriages hammering into the stree below, tall skyscrapers crumbling as their windows shatter, Cade and Tessa suspended high in the air between buildings..
The opening scene sees the dinosaurs running from alien attackers through sloped mountains, a scene which pulsated with clarity and crispness – nice work there.
I think it’s safe to say the audience definitely get their money’s worth with the special effects, the producers nailed it. This was the best element of the movie.
I don’t think I’ve ever watched a movie with so much lost humour than Transformers: Age of Extinction. Seriously.
One-liner’s and gags were thrown around with such loose enthusiasm that they got hardly any reaction from us audience. Even when a Transformer piped up with something slick, it personally went straight over my head. The main culprit however was Lucas played by T.J. Miller who seemed to spout random wisecracks inappropriate moments, thus resulting in – yes, you guessed it – absolute silence from the audience. At one point CIA agents have guns raised at his head, as he drops a comment about handling a live bomb. “..I coulda – you know – died” he says, pulling a confused face. ..again, a quiet auditorium. It was almost embarassing to watch. Later on he is seen running through flames when he and the others are under attack, at which I think I mumbled, “just kill the bastard. Please”.
The script wasn’t the issue, it was the style of delivery. Comedic timing which was so out of synch that any jokes shared between characters were lost immediately.
Joshua, Cade and Shane are running through a tower block. Feet pounding the floor, the tension rises as the building begins crumbling around them.
Joshua’s face twists in terror as he looks down at the bomb he is holding – it has started bleeping.
A family gather in their doorway, terrified, as the three men run past.
Suddenly Joshua slows down, turns round, and faces the family..
“oh, hi kids!” he announces, with a wave.
My mouth dropped open slightly.
Fucking.. HI KIDS?!
As in – terrifying action-packed chase scene is heating up the screen, which the main character shatters instantly by greeting two children in a wacky voice and a cartoon-like side to side bob of his head. Not only was it not funny, its irrelevant placement in the middle of an action scene yanked the dynamics down by 90%. Up until now Joshua’s character was dark, stern and scarily powerful – focused solely on his creations. Within seconds he became a bumbling pantomime character, it was just awful.
I rolled my eyes so harshly, I swear to god they ended up round by my ears.
Although quite hot, Tessa (Peltz) displays fantastic expertise in being as thick as greek yogurt. Some of her scenes had me either tutting or rolling my eyes (I may need to visit an optician because of this movie).
One example is where Tessa is trapped behind a car between fighting Autobots and her father; the girl does everything in her power to duck and dive about the surrounding area but without making any effort to reach her father. Like a dog chasing its tail, she makes use of all the space around her, avoids the obstacle in question, and instead jumps into the car next to her.
The car is then attacked by a Decepticon and lifted into the air – Cade (Wahlberg) pounces on it and yells at his daughter to “break the glass!” before slipping and falling to the ground below. The girl can be seen banging her fists against the car window – but can’t quite bang hard enough to break the glass. Instead, she just watches her father fall to the ground and looks around for someone else to help her.
Then of course, comes the scene where she, Shane and her father are scrambling along metal anchors high up in the air above the city between spaceship and skyscraper. The guys seem to be getting along fine. Tessa however notices the sheet of metal she is crouched on wobble slightly, and announces she’s heading back to the spaceship.
..that’s right darling – the anchor is nowhere near about to break, but you go on back to the spaceship. Metal killer dogs, Decepticons and the chance you may be catapulted into outer space.. brilliant decision.
Feisty she may be, but Tessa is more boobs than brains. The men seem to take over the controls as she sits back wondering what a control is.
As an actress, Nicola is gorgeous, but her talents are completely wasted in Transformers: Age of Extinction. I can only assume director Michael Bay stuck her in the movie as “eye candy the audience will want to take under their wing”.
THANK GOD for Shane, that’s all I can say. Tessa’s boyfriend jumps on to the set..
..and straight into my underpants.
I don’t know what Jack Reynor eats for breakfast, but the guy is beautiful; big puffy lips (capable of all sorts I shouldn’t imagine), wide glassy eyes, lantern jaw.. the man is sex on legs. Forget his dappy character which actually blends excellently with Tessa, Shane is the sex relief. The guy-candy (eye candy) who propels the movie forward with a delicious dynamic.
Jack Reynor is a classic example of a “he doesn’t need to do much during the film, just stand there in a leather jacket, clenching his jaw” Hollywood actor.
Bit of a muddled accent though. Jack was born in Colorado but grew up in Ireland, so has a bit of a mixed heritage – and it showed. Whenever the guy spoke, it was in full American accent before dropping into Irish. But did I give a fuck? Chiseled Chops had me salivating just looking at him – just his presence was enough.
By Christ, the amount of money he’d make in porn..
See if you can spot the Asian gentleman who sits calmly at his kitchen table as Cade smashes through the window into his apartment.
I honestly couldn’t understand it; there is a mass battle going on just outside between aliens and humans, explosions and fire bursting everywhere – and yet this gentleman is sat calmly at his table reading the newspaper. (don’t quote me on the newspaper – he may have been doing something else, but my point still stands).
Yet another thing which added to the list of ridiculousness of this movie.
Transformers: Age of Extinction was FUCKING AWFUL from beginning to end. I’ve honestly not had to endure an action movie like this for a long time, and I was bored senseless. The ‘switching of the butt cheeks’ took place at least seven or eight times, my hand was resting on my jaw – back to my leg – back to my jaw – pins and needles again.. back to my leg.
Are you getting the picture yet?
The CGI and other special effects in this movie were fantastic, and literally the only reason worth watching it. If you’re a fan of swish colourful graphics and cleverly constructed monsters, then you should be rather impressed.
Unfortunately the director spent his entire budget and enthusiasm on CGI and threw the rest of the movie to the dogs.
Cliché unrelatable characters I couldn’t care less about, and very unfunny script have to be the highlight of the day; dialogue and one-liner’s being delivered which flopped and fell spectacularly on their arses. Slick phrases being spoken which were lost on the audience, gags which got no laughs.. it was emabarassing to witness.
DO NOT pay to watch this movie – wait for the rental.
I would honestly rather spend three days in a prison cell than sit for three hours infront of this piece of crap again.
Sequel to the 2011 hit Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
In the wake of a global disaster, survivor Malcolm and his close team try desperately to restore power to their broken habitat in the depths of San Francisco’s downtown.
However, when they stumble upon a nest of apes who have made home on the other side of the bridge, a chain of events unfold.
Events which begins a mass war – humans against ape.
But which race will survive, and earn their right to stay living on the earth?..
Andy Serkis – Caesar
Gary Oldman – Dreyfus
Jason Clarke – Malcolm
Keri Russell – Ellie
Judy Greer – Cornelia
Kodi Smit-McPhee - Alexander
From the opening scene through to its explosive finale, I was absolutely hooked. I don’t consider myself a fan of these human-ape type movies, but I found this movie very watchable. I was captivated the entire time, only taking my eyes off the screen to check I hadn’t dropped my mobile phone. (it’s not much fun having to get on all fours underneath pitch black seating, believe me).
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was pretty much non-stop action from the word go, kicking off immediately with our furry friends (or rather enemies) swinging through the trees and marking their territory. No sooner have we caught a glimpse of how the apes are getting by, do Malcolm and his team of associates wander into the ‘ape’s nest’ – resulting in life-changing consequences..
Not only was I intrigued constantly by what was happening on screen, but I found myself vocalising quite often. All an ape had to do was throw a deep, sad facial expression at the camera and I instantly let out an “awwww”.
And it wasn’t just sounds of affection, I uttered a few “ouch”, “fuck” and “oooh”‘s. I think it was actually the first time in my life I’ve referred to an animal as “a c*nt” – that just felt plain weird, calling an ape a c*nt.
I will state for a fact, the animals were spectacular. I don’t know how many (if any) were costume and how many were CGI, but Caesar and his crew were very genuine, the director nailed it. I didn’t look at an ape and think, “that looks fake” – I regarded them as a being of their own, like the humans. At certain points, a few of them cry – tears falling from their wrinkled eyes and rolling down their cheek. I actually felt saddened by the sight. Not much more I can say other than the apes are brilliant.
Surrounding San Francisco was laid out well. The area including the Golden Gate Bridge looks the same, only slightly darkened with a cloudy grey mist and debris. A massive naval ship lays tilted on its side underneath the bridge. The habitable parts of San Francisco are everything you could want / expect from a post-apocalyptic setting; cracked architecture, mass vegetation which sees vines and plants growing around buildings you wouldn’t normally get, etc. The whole set is quite convincing, which I liked – I’m a big fan of the post-apocalyptic look; important buildings reduced to shells, plants growing where you’d least expect, etc.
And although not a heavy focus point, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes portayed this element very well.
Apes swinging through the air was another good bit; at the beginning of the movie they swarm through the trees like spiders – a scene that actually reminded me of the Harry Potter movies – convincing creatures scuttling out of the misty colourful depths of the forest. This scene had me “whoa” out loud. And it continued nicely. Another scene sees two humans preparing their guns for possible battle – all of a sudden, three furry beasts lower from the ceiling and make their way towards the men by way of slick swinging which they perform with wonderful synchronicity. Be it apes crying which was rather powerful, or their spidery way of moving around, the special effects were fantastic. I have nothing bad to say about this aspect.
Just you wait for the battle scene between ape and human. It’s special.
Ape on horseback is a bizarre sight, but as they ride into San Francisco to face the humans, all hell breaks loose. Explosions, people falling, buildings that are already toppled topple a bit further, and of course – the apes master plan involving the humans to reverse the whole ‘caged animal’ thing..
If someone were to say to me, “imagine apes or monkeys sat on horseback, waving machine guns in the air”, I would probably end up laughing at how silly the image seemed. However, watching it on the big screen was nowhere near as silly and highly effective as the apes drew me straight into the action, their story. The scene I thought most powerful sees Malcolm and an ape put their heads together in a strong bond of understanding. The way they close their eyes and lean on each other is very moving.
Another thing I liked about this movie was the fact the director didn’t swamp the audience in family shit. Unlike many other movies that throw as much emotional family dialogue at the audience as possible, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes veers in the opposite direction. The story is brought to us from the view of the apes – of course there are humans with issues of their own, but these issues are briefly explained before getting on with ‘monkey business’.
The story spends so much time focused on the apes, I tried to decipher the actors underneath the wrinkled faces as I sat there watching. I mean, Judy Greer was an ape – but I honestly couldn’t find her amongst the blackened furry heads, it was strange.
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is a great watch, and very different from what I thought it would be.
Full of burning action from the word go, the story is easy to follow and not drowning in lengthy scenes; on the contrary, this movie moves swiftly from one scene to the other, balancing the lives of humans and apes brilliantly.
Although the main cast do a good job, the apes outweigh them massively due to superb special effects and personalities which are channelled into creating their own race. They are wonderful beasts.
It is very watchable and had me interested from its opening scene, which is the main element I enjoyed.
I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend this movie to anyone wanting a good watch – it’s not groundbreaking, but it’s definitely entertaining.
If you’re a monkey lover, ape fanatic or special effects buff, this one is for you – enjoy!
Boyhood is the story of a young man named Mason and his journey from being 6 years old, to 18 years old. No substitute actors were used – all actors in the movie genuinely took part in the 12-year filming. It was shot intermittently over a twelve-year period, as Coltrane grew from childhood to adulthood; beginning in the summer of 2002 and finishing in October 2013.
You are about to witness a little boy grow into adult within 3 hours..
Ellar Coltrane – Mason
Lorelei Linklater – Samantha
Patricia Arquette – Mom
Ethan Hawke – Dad
Marco Perella – Bill Welbrock
I’ll begin this review by applauding the cast; a handful of people who actually signed a contract back in 2002 to film a movie for the next twelve years. Boyhood is a cinematic first, a total breakthrough in how movies are made and it is this element alone which surrounds the film in dynamic splendour, makes it as interesting as it is. Christ, imagine being asked in 2002 to play a character in a movie but being told you won’t see your name in the credits until 2014. I would probably have burst out laughing. Think about it – 2002 seems like a bloody lifetime ago.
I myself was 19 years old and just leaving college the summer that director Richard Linklater opened the front door of young Mason’s house and started filming.
Sugababes and Pink were at the height of the charts. Winona Ryder’s shoplifting trial began, as Michael Jackson confused his laundry with his child as he dangled the poor baby over a hotel balcony. I specifically remember Shakira’s “Whenever Wherever” playing out of radios everywhere.
For the love of god, I had a skinhead!..
What I loved most about Boyhood was how I could relate to the characters – without actually relating to them. It was the subject of time which bound me to the characters I watched on screen; the life events they experienced, I had also experienced. This movie blended a fictional family with the non-fictional world events which unfolded across the years. A reality show – but also a movie. What a fantastic concept. I couldn’t help thinking of The Truman Show during certain parts of this; scenes which echoed the same sort of idea, but instead the main man plays the part of someone else – and knows he is being filmed.
I have to be honest – this movie had me feeling quite emotional. At first I couldn’t understand why, but realised it had something to do with watching a little boy grow up infront of me. At the beginning, little 6-year-old Mason (little Ellar) is picked up from school by his mother and the next few scenes involve family dinners, playing with his friends, etc. The scene fades out and then back in, to find Mason walking through his living room as an 8-year-old.
Before you know it he’s 12.
This isn’t just a movie character changing, it’s the actor playing him growing up too.
I watched as his jaw became rounder, his features became more masculine – it was life, happening right in front of me. I felt as though I was growing with him.
The director doesn’t smack the audience with obvious “look at how old he is now!” type signs as the boy’s age changes, his years just accelerate naturally as the movie progresses. This has to be one of the best elements of Boyhood; no tacky ‘Five Years Later’ banners popping up on screen, etc. – the feature moves at the pace of any other film, only the difference is the main characters have aged significantly in the following scene. It’s fantastic. Emotional.
What I was surprised at most during Boyhood, was the lack of boredom. Before seeing the movie I knew the plot and assumed I would get bored, just sitting watching a boy play with his computer, having dinner with his family, etc. On the contrary, I enjoyed every minute. And the reason why I enjoyed it so much was that the script was so real, the chemistry between the actors so natural. Scenes between the kids involved fighting and name-calling in younger years, which developed into serious conversations later on. Things a lot of us have done ourselves in real life. I sat smiling as I watched Mason’s stepfather fail spectacularly at playing golf, laughed heartily at his real father (Hawke) giving him and his sister a serious-turned-hilarious talk about contraception, sympathised with his mother as she struggled to cope with certain life decisions…
I honestly cannot describe the effect this movie had on me, I just felt like I could relate to certain things, and knew exactly where the characters were coming from. It allowed me to absorb the entire thing in my own way.
One scene made me laugh out loud. Around year 2007, Mason and his father are camping in the woods, when conversation turns to Star Wars movies. Dad says, “I wonder if they’ll make another Star Wars movie?..” which ignites a conversation between the two about whether there would be more in the series, and what the titles would be.
I literally felt like a time traveller – back in 2007 with them, but with knowledge of the future they had no idea about (including future Star Wars features). Thing is, as actors these two had no idea either – which added to my enjoyment of their naivety. Boyhood is like a time capsule, sequences captured in the past which have now been opened in 2014. It was as though I had stepped into Doctor Who’s TARDIS, been whisked through time, landed in 2002 and wanted to inform the actors of what has gone on over the last twelve years (and perhaps confirm or deny their Star Wars query).
I lapped up every second of this ‘almost time travel’ dynamic; the producers struck gold with this.
Keep your eyes and ears out for various clues as to the year – certain songs and events are played which give a subtle hint as to where and when you are.
Whether it’s a song playing on the radio behind Mason or Samantha looking at a video on her computer, there are little clues scatterd through time.
The hints include:
“Oops!…I Did It Again” by Britney Spears (2000)
“Soak Up the Sun” by Sheryl Crow (2002)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book release in shops (2005)
Nintendo Wii (2006)
Obama elected as president (2008)
Twilight book series (2005)
The launch of Facebook (2004)
“Love Game” by Lady Gaga (2009)
“Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye (2012)
Another interesting element – playing ‘Guess The Year’.
Near the beginning of the movie when he is a little boy, there is a scene where Mason gets into bed to go to sleep. Distant pattering of rain can be heard on his bedroom window – kind of calming I thought. Later on in the movie it happens again, but this time during the family’s dinner time. Ok, so it can rain at any time.
However, the next time it happened was when Mason and his father are inside a bowling alley.
..turned out to be the sound recording.
In certain scenes it actually gets quite loud, becoming a blatantly obvious fault. Maybe the director used the same camera from 2002, because this wasn’t 2014 quality – it sounded like video recording equipment from the 1980′s. This muffled rain-like sound threw a spanner in the works during quieter scenes, making it hard to focus on what the actors were saying.
Don’t see if you can spot it – see if you can avoid it!
Boyhood is a wonderful piece of cinema, and its faithful cast ensemble are to be respected for their twelve-year dedication to producing the movie. Anything can happen to a person within twelve years, but whatever they did in their personal lives, they continued to let the cameras roll.
A film about a boy growing up is one thing, but having him grow in front of your very eyes is one hell of a beautiful thing.
This movie tapped into my emotional depths as I sympathised with the characters and in the end, the most incredible element of all wasn’t even the on-screen story – it was real life Ellar and his fellow cast members personal dedication which showed wonderful integrity.
If you’re going to watch this, DO NOT have any interruptions. No switching off and continuing it a few days later, etc. – Boyhood should be devoured in one sitting so that you get the full effect of the boy growing, and you can appreciate the story too. This is one of the best films I have seem at the cinema.
After Dan is fired from his music label, he hits the bottle. But the bar he walks into is where he meets Greta – a young musician who shows promise.
Of all the bars he could have staggered in to, this one is about to change his life forever.
A strong musical partnership kicks off which sees the pair go into recording an album together. And along the way they will both learn some important lessons – in music, life and love.
Keira Knightley – Greta
Mark Ruffalo – Dan Mulligan
Catherine Keener – Miriam
Adam Levine – Dave Kohl
Hailee Steinfeld – Violet
CeeLo Green – Troublegum
James Corden – Steve
That was actually a really nice little movie.
Begin Again wasn’t overcooked and dramatic, neither was it boring or a total wash-out. It was just a simple film with a simple concept. So it might not be the ‘movie of the summer’, but it definitely made me feel good (I’m thinking this is what they mean by a ‘feel good film’ you know.
The story follows Dan and Greta on their quest for success; which actually turns out to be a message: “just go for it, follow your passions”.
As the pair learn lessons from the shit events that have taken place in their lives, they form a lovely tight bond. But unlike many other movies where the lead male porks the female just because he now knows her inside out and wishes to discover her inside as well as out, this particular couple are focused solely on their music careers, and the only organs being strummed by their fingers are musical instruments. We watch as Dan takes Greta under his wing and the two of them embark on a musical journey, recording songs in live outdoor situations (a back alleyway where they use little kids playing ball as backing vocals, Greta crooning as she and her recording crew ride a boat down a river, even blasting out a tune on the underground subway) in creation of their first album.
Relationship issues run alongside the pair, with Greta’s turbulent break-up with boyfriend Dave (Lavine) and Dan’s emotional ‘distant father’ image to his daughter – but these issues act more of an undercurrent, running through the movie yet not becoming the main feature. I liked this aspect of Begin Again; director John Carney brings us a movie where what the characters want is the prime target – he doesn’t drown the audience in tears, tantrums and lawyers. Which let’s face it, is exactly what many other directors have an irritating habit of doing (lengthy father-daughter talks on park benches, etc.). So yes, you get to witness one or two few minute bursts of, “you’re a distant father, she needs you to be there for her” etc. – but then the movie continues with the fun stuff. It really isn’t bad at all, it’s watchable stuff.
I couldn’t help thinking as I sat watching Adam Levine up on stage, strumming a guitar and singing in that kind of bearable howling style, “wow. This might get him a few more downloads”.
Yes, I know what the movie is about and how he is a musician himself – it just seemed like a bit of a promotional push for him at certain points. That said, the guy delivered his character effortlessly and his on-screen presence with Keira was incredibly natural.
I always wonder that about famous singers; if they can act. It’s all very well having singers in movies as characters, but aside from doing what they do as a job on screen, are they able to act well enough? Adam wasn’t bad at all, however much of a snidey publicity plug it seemed. Cheeky boy.
I will add for the ladies (and certain gents) that he’s quite a pant-dampner in places. One scene sees him sat talking with Greta in the park – my eyes could look nowhere else but his undercarriage. Tree trunk thighs, long thick legs in black lace-up boots..
That is one hot slice of male clunge.
Begin Again has a great way of emphasising how intense people become in their jobs or interests. Near the beginning of the movie, Dan’s life blows up in his face – family, career, it all goes tits-up. But even after walking out of the other side, he ends up meeting Greta and dives into a crazy plan to record her first album with her. Their passion for music literally takes over as they produce their work, becoming less about liking music and more about feeling it. And as the volume is increased, so does Dan and Greta’s relationship.
One scene surprised me; when Greta is listening to a song her boyfriend Dave has made for her, she looks up at him halfway through – and a revelation is made, resulting in explosive consequences. Passion for music consumed Greta to the point of being able to feel what Dave was thinking as he sang the lyrics, like a mind reader. It was all very deep. On the vocal side, Keira is actually not bad. She has a very soft undertone to her voice which makes for very easy listening. I can imagine listening to her at 2am to help soothe a car journey – that kind of voice.
She’s no X Factor finalist, but the girl knows how to carry a note or two. Well done to her.
Oh, see if you can spot the over-enthusiastic musician who plays along in the background behind Greta. Dan and her employ this female to play the violin, and she delivers a lot more. As Greta stands singing, the violinist behind her mouths the words at the same time – so passionately, it’s as though she’s the one singing!
Enthusiasm isn’t the word. See if you can spot what I’m talking about.
Begin Again is a charming, witty piece of cinema. It might not win awards, but it will win hearts.
With its simple concept, good script, and very observant humour, this movie displays clear messages of passion and dedication whilst ensuring it doesn’t go overboard with the performances given by all.
I honestly thought I would hate this movie but found it rather endearing.
Love it when that happens.
A former soldier awakens in the back of an unlit van.
And as he tries to figure out how he got there..
A former soldier awakens on top of the woman he has been having sex with. She frowns as he leaps across the room, searching through his clothes to find out how he got..
A former soldier awakens in a chair. He has precisely 9 minutes 47 seconds to figure out how..
A former soldier awakens in an underground laboratory. Realising he has under 10 minutes before his next time jump, he searches desperately for..
The former soldier realises this isn’t going to be a simple day.
Noel Clarke – Ryan
Alexis Knapp – Dana
Ian Somerhalder – Harkin Langham
Brian Cox – Dr. Langham
Niall Greig Fulton – Leonid
Have you ever seen In Time or The Adjustment Bureau?
The Anomaly is like a mixture of the two. Only with a less stunning cast and no excitement whatsoever. In fact, this movie was almost entirely ‘borrowed’ from other movies which immediately cancelled out any suspense or intrigue – it ran its screen time with absolutely no effect on me. I left the cinema exhaling a (deeper than normal) deep sigh. I try and note the audience reaction in every film I see at the cinema; whether people are gasping, laughing out loud, jumping / screaming in shock, etc. The reactions don’t have to be massive. Just something, a little noise made by one or two audience members.
The Anomaly got nothing.
I think at one point one of the male audience sniggered. But other than that, the only noise in the auditorium was the man to my left – who got up and walked out. The problem here was the sporadic use of what would’ve been a brilliant plot. Director Noel Clarke had a concept in his hands which if molded properly, would have been a fantastic ride. Unfortunately, it melted and slipped through his fingers. The movie was messy and disjointed; jumping from one scenario to another, it pulled me in – but then sent me somewhere else. In the end, I realised this film may as well have been condensed down to a 1 hour film for television. It was nowhere near cinema worthy.
Throughout the movie, fight scenes take place. Ryan encounters various ‘baddies’ during his visits to different lives. And I may have actually enjoyed these scenes, had they not been slowed down. The scuffles take place in slow motion which had me frowning.
I couldn’t fathom why the director needed to use such an element – because the movie flowed as normal and then suddenly broke into slow motion Matrix-style swings, dives, splits and punches. Noel’s attempt at creating Kill Bill 3 didn’t impress me, it baffled me. The style in which the movie suddenly erupted in slo-mo was like a cry of, “look at us guys! We’re fighting in slow motion, you don’t get this in many films – how cool is that?!”
It was cheesy. And almost completely unnecessary.
This was literally the only factor of the movie I enjoyed – the use of special effects / CGI.
Near the beginning of The Anomaly, we see Ryan running along the side of the River Thames in London. Up until this bit I was sat staring at the screen expressionless. But when this popped up, my eyes widened..
I can only describe it as beautiful. Stunning. This movie is set in the near future, and boy does it show. The layout of the river is the same, with Tower Bridge in its usual place – but the metropolis of future London that surrounds it is bloody amazing. All along the river various silver skyscrapers have shot up – one of them quite different to the other with its open bud, plant-like structure. The city looks exactly the same as present day, but wonderfully different at the same time. The imaginative use of special effects are to be applauded. Up in the sky are a few hovering noticeboards; almost the same shape as helicopters these little crafts appear to display signs advertising local pizza joints, etc.
Seriously, this streak of sci-fi was beautiful. Best part of the movie.
“..ahh, it’s HER!” I immediately thought as I looked at Alexis Knapp on screen. “..the frisky one from Pitch Perfect”.
Alexis Knapp stars as a hooker who helps Ryan try to figure out what is happening to him. She seems to be in and out of the movie only acting in certain scenes, but manages to deliver very well. At first she’s a real bitch – a whore laying on a bed who spouts sarcastic comments at Ryan, but slowly and sexily, she becomes more.
It was actually a little surprising to have the likes of Alexis in a film like this with Noel Clarke; a jump from Hollywood to Hackney in which she delivered a foxy, effective character. Most of the cast are actually male so it was nice to have her add some female dynamic.
Certain scenes seemed to be clutching at straws. In the ‘ideas’ department I mean.
For example, a scene where Ryan has to attach an oxygen mask to his face: the mask lights up and radiates a bright blue light.
..why? Why does an oxygen mask need a light? I am fully aware this is set in the future, but – well – they have lights in the future.
Another scene sees a brawl in the middle of the street in what looks like Chinatown. When Ryan falls to the floor, the camera fades out dramatically..
..but quickly pans back to the futuristic scenery and gives the audience a horizontal scanning as if to say, “look at that shit. Isn’t it beautiful?”.
The overall ‘tech satellite’ concept was brilliant, a very good idea for a plot which played with in the correct way, could bring great stuff to the screen.
Unfortunately, this concept was completely shat on by the tedious atmosphere that the movie radiated. Again, The Anomaly should have been condensed into a 45-minute / 1 hour ‘one-off’ for television – because it contained epic ideas.
It just wasn’t epic enough.
In a nutshell, The Anomaly was crap – but it was bursting with potential. Like an essay a student hands in to their teacher which is good but the previous student’s was written much better, this movie was uncooked – it wasn’t ready for the big screen yet.
The idea was all there, but wasn’t followed through properly to the best it could have been. Which was a shame due to one or two elements being quite interesting.
This movie was a bare skeleton with no flesh, surrounded by a mind-boggling plot which I actually gave up caring about in the end.
I didn’t like it, but liked what it could have been.
Sorry Noel, best you stick to acting – directing what you’re actually starring in doesn’t seem to work. Melissa McCarthy just proved that with Tammy.
Allan Karlsson sits on the edge of his bed in a retirement home. Looking out of the window, he ponders his life so far. Which is quite lengthy – he has turned 100 today.
But Allan has a sudden final burst of life..
As the nurses of the retirement home enter his room with a birthday cake on a trolley, they all cheerily sing Happy Birthday.
But suddenly stop.
Allan has climbed out of the window.
Robert Gustafsson – Allan Karlsson
Iwar Wiklander – Julius
David Wiberg – Benny
Mia Skäringer – Gunilla
Jens Hultén – Gäddan
Bianca Cruzeiro – Caracas
Alan Ford – Pim
This movie reminded me very much of French success Amélie.
From the sumptuous, colourful scenery to the quirky humour of the lead character, it contained the same sort of traits as the 2001 hit. I think what confirmed the similarity was the scene where Allan tells the viewer about parts of his life. At one point he announces, “all my life people have screamed at me” – which breaks into a collage of clips of various people he has met throughout his life, all screaming at him; his mother giving birth and looking down screaming, a school teacher, an ex-girlfriend, a work colleague, a fellow war veteran..
This reminded me immediately of the scene in Amélie where she wonders ‘how many people are having an orgasm right now?’ – which breaks into split-second clips of random people around the world howling with pleasure.
The main character is quite endearing. He is a very old man who still has a young man’s heart. Added to this is his personality – Allan is open and honest, and seems to make friends easily wherever he goes. The day he climbs out of ‘the window’ and legs it, his adventure begins. He talks his way on to the nearest train and leaves town – then meets a random old gentleman who appears intrigued by his journey – then the gentleman joins him. Together, they hit the road but manage to get into deep trouble with a gang of bad boys who are at least 70 years younger. Of course, this wouldn’t have started had Allan not wandered off to catch his train with a stranger’s suitcase instead of simply watching it whilst the man went to the toilet – like he asked.
Thing is, the suitcase doesn’t contain what you expect – hundreds of pieces of clothing.
It actually contains millions of something else…
Darkly comic isn’t really the right term to describe this film. It’s fucking pitch-black! Dead bodies, fraud, car chases, murder – the dark elements massively outweigh the light. And the events all converge around 100-year-old Allan. Poor sod.
But rather than panic, the old crooner just enjoys the ride. He is 100 after all – why should he give a shit?
If you’re a fan of dark comedy, you’ll probably enjoy this movie. It had me laughing out loud at various parts, due to the ridiculousness of the plot – yet the total honesty portrayed by the characters. One scene sees Allan in the house of his new friend Julius, when an intruder enters the property and attacks Julius. Allan grabs a tool and smashes the intruder over the head, then he and Julius drag the still body out of the living room..
..and into a giant freestanding freezer unit.
The audience seemed to enjoy this, laughing out loud at the bizarre situation unfolding on screen and I have to say – even I found it strangely funny.
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared is a reminiscent tale of this old man’s life. As the movie progresses, he delves into his personal history which is shown on screen; people he has met and worked with, places he has ended up, etc.
I must admit, by the time the film had hit its first hour I was bored – and wondered why I had bothered going to see it. So this man had climbed out of a window and ‘disappeared’ – didn’t mean the rest of the movie was a breathtaking, intriguing piece of cinematic glory. It literally just mean’t ‘camera will now follow very old man as he embarks on road trip’
I actually felt a slight resentment toward Allan at various points, because of his arrogance. My first observation was that the old bastard was slightly ignorant – displayed clearly whenever the other characters with him spoke English when they needed to, yet Allan didn’t try at all – he contined speaking in Swedish, as if the recipient was native. People like that get on my tits.
And then the arrogance..
His reminiscent storytelling is backed up by clips of the scenarios. It was during such clips I had raised eyebrows, mainly due to how arrogant the man was. A dinner party with an incredibly famous political figure turns sour when Allan can’t stop himself commenting on the political figure’s dancing ability. Even when the moment turns nasty and he has the opportunity to settle it there and then, Allan continues waffling.
Yes, parts of this movie had me thinking, “just shut the fuck up you idiot”. He is honestly like one of those unwanted, outspoken people you find in a bar whose drank too much and starts spouting off their opinions. I don’t like to feel so irritated toward an old man, but hey – you can’t warm to everyone.
So the movie began and I started to enjoy its Amélie-esque elements. This was nice.
…1 hour 10 minutes later and I was bored senseless.
I wanted out.
This is a tale of an old man’s journey through quite possibly his last day’s, and a personal account of the journey through his life leading up to this. But overall it seemed a bit of a pointless production; if I wanted any of what I saw / heard in this film I would’ve called my friend Carol and asked to speak to her very old mother.
What can I say – if you think you’re in for a captivating fast-paced piece of excitement, think again.
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared is strange, and a bit boring.
It’s okay if you’re extremely bored on a dull Sunday afternoon but other than that, this is one for the oldies.
And by ‘oldies’ I mean literally people over the age of 80.
The movie just seems to flow at the same pace – no up’s or down’s, which is a shame because this brings no dynamic to the feature at all. It just – happens.
One of those things you’d catch on TV as you’re flicking channels, pause on it, absorb what is happening, and think..
..”fuck that. What else is on?”